Close || Steve Rogers

Twenty One

Sometime that night, I jolt awake from a nightmare. A few drops of sweat roll down from my forehead as I try to calm my breathing. 

"Beth? What's wrong?" Steve asks groggily. 

"Noth.. nothing." I stammer, settling back down in the cot. I lay my head on Steve's chest again and grip part of his suit in my hand. 

"What happened?" Steve asks me seriously. 

"It was just a nightmare." I whisper, snuggling deeper into Steve and closing my eyes. 

"Please tell me Beth." Steve sighs. I hesitate for a moment, not knowing whether or not I should tell him about my nightmare. Eventually I decide to tell him so he can calm me down. 

"I dreamed that both you and Bucky fell from the train. And that when I fell asleep, Nazi soldiers came to the base and burned everything down. I was the only one who survived and they captured me and took me to their main base. They experimented on me and it drove me insane. That's when I woke up." I tell him, shivering as I remember my dream.

"Beth, I'm so sorry." Steve says, sounding defeated. 

"I'm okay. As long as I have you, I'll be okay." I tell him before I yawn and lay my head back on Steve's chest. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer into him.

"I love you." he mumbles before placing a gentle kiss to the top of my head. 

"I love you too." is the last thing I remember saying before I fall back asleep.

----

"I'm going to get a drink." Steve tells me later the next day. 

"I'll come with you." I say, putting my shoes on. Steve looks at me as if he's about to say no, but then he nods and takes my hand as we walk through the camp together. As we sit in the bombed out bar, Steve speaks up. 

"Dr. Erskine said that the serum wouldn't just effect my muscles, it would effect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which means um... I can't get drunk. Did you know that?"

"Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person. He thought it could be one of the side effects." I say before pausing. 

"You know it wasn't your fault Steve." I continue, trying to cheer up Steve. Or at least lighten his mood.

"Did you read the reports?" he asks, staring at the wall. 

I nod my head but realize he can't see me so I say, "Yes, I did." 

"Then you know that's not true." Steve states. 

"You did everything you could Steve. It was Bucky's choice to get on the train with you.  Allow him the dignity of his choice. He must have thought you were worth it. Please, stop blaming yourself." I plead, sitting next to him and placing a hand on his arm.

He looks at me, tears in his eyes as he says, "I'm goin' after Schmidt. I'm not gonna stop till all of HYDRA is dead or captured." 

I smile at him and kiss his cheek. 

"You won't be alone." I tell him softly before laying my head on his shoulder. He takes another sip of his drink before he wraps an arm around me. 

"Thank you." he tells me quietly, staring into the bottom of the cup as he slowly swirls his drink. 

"Anything for you." I tell him, giving him a small smile.

"Do you want to talk to Colonel Phillips about attacking HYDRA?" I ask. He nods his head and gets up out of his chair. He sticks his hand out to help me stand up, so I take it and follow him out to his motorcycle.