Watch as the man who just wanted his van back becomes more than just a simple carpenter with a licorice tail and wooden hands in...The Hank Saga!
A lot of these are stories I wrote a while back, so there's quite a few to upload to here (the 60+ isn'...
Dan Has A Question About Spaceships (Hank Saga Story #21) By Dan Leicht/D.e.e.L
"So, Dan. I hear you have a question about spaceships. Maybe I can help you out with it. I'm a... bit of a spaceship expert," said Hank with a wink.
"Who told you I had a question? And why did you just wink?" asked Dan in a puzzled manner while he chopped onions with a hand-saw.
"The title, have you not read the title of this story yet?"
"What are you talking about? What story?"
"The story that we're currently in..."
"I'll tell you a story even better than that one."
"Better than the one you're already writing?"
"Yup."
"Okay...I think. What's your new story?"
"Well...you were using your new jetpack that you had gotten from a garage sale at a real bargain when it stopped working and you fell 1,004 feet to the ground. Luckily there was some spilled yogurt left there from a girl named Nina, who ruined your car and you hated but then didn't maybe, but then still do, but now she saved your life because she was too lazy or just didn't care, but who really cleans up after themselves outside if they spill yogurt anyway, right? So you were safe and you looked at the jetpack trying to find out what went wrong when you remembered what the elderly woman at the garage sale had said to you as she looked into her Cristal bottle, "This jetpack doesn't work good no more," and just then you realized how you could fix it! You grabbed a clump of dirt and placed it on top of the jetpack before pulling on the lawn mower like string to start it so that you could once again fly high up into the air and spit on people as they walked around the park that you were in.
"Hey! That's him!" shouts one of the park rangers as they begin to run towards you and call for backup. "That's the spitter!"
You frantically pull the cord with one hand as your foot holds down the jetpack and you slap on more clumps of dirt with the other as the rangers are increasingly approaching. "I ate cheese for breakfast!" you shout out in a genius attempt to through them off focus.
"Cheese for breakfast?"
"Cheese....cheese?"
"Cheeeeeeese!"
All of the rangers become baffled and start walking around upside down as they try to understand why someone would ever have cheese for breakfast. You finally get the jetpack to start and you put in back on your back before heading back to the air with the wind at your back, back, back, back, back...back, back.
"What's this?" you say as you linger in the air. "A spaceship!" you finally realize after three hours of staring at it.
You touch the side of the ship and a small door opens and a large hand comes out to grab you, pulling you inside. Once inside you find me sitting there eating cheese.
"Dan?"
"I just told you it was me...jeez."
"But? How did you get here? You were just chopping onions and writing this story?"
"If I can do those two things at once...you really don't think I could do this as well?"
"Good point. But why are you eating cheese?"
"Um...Because it's dinner time."
"Oh, wow it is. Can I have some?"
"Did you wash your hands?"
"No. I mean, not yet. I was just outside, how could I?"
"No cheese until you wash your hands!"
"Do you have a sink in here?"
"Nope."
"How can I then?"
"Hank..."
"Yes?"
"Can I ask you a question about spaceships?"
"Sure, I guess."
"Why aren't there sinks in spaceships?"
"I feel like there are sinks in spaceships. This is the only one I've been on though I suppose sooo..."
"You don't know do you?"
"No, no, I know...just give me a minute."
"Waaaiting."
"Open the door."
"Why?"
"I'm going to go wash my hands. I'll be right back. Save me some, will ya?"
"Better hurry."
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