The Hank Saga

The Whiny Mashed Potatoes Monster (Hank Saga Story #20)

The Whiny Mashed Potatoes Monster (Hank Saga Story #20) By Dan Leicht/D.e.e.L

"Humphrey, could you please pass me the bottle of Merloooooooot?"

"Uh, sure. Why are you saying it like that, Bruce?"

"Because it sounds fancier that way! Don't you know anything about wine?"

"I guess you're right. It does sound a lot fancier like that. Merlooooooooooooot, Me, Me, Me, Merlooooooooooooot."

"Do we have to capitalize it each time we say Merlooooooooooot?"

"Not sure, should we look up your question using the internet?"

"The whaternet?"

"Internet. It's like this big connection of filthy websites. Some of them have actual helpful information on them."

"That does sound delightful. Yes, let's look that question up using the...uh..."

"Internet. I'll type it into a search engine."

The normal looking man with the odd looking face and long finger nails eating a carrot while drinking Merloooooooot turns on his computer in order to access the internet while his other friend with blonde hair and a buttery complexion sits in the gold colored chair drinking his Merlooooooot.

"Have you found it yet?"

"Not yet. How do you spell Merlooooooot?"

"What do you mean how do you spell Merlooooooot? You just did!"

"I didn't spell Merloooooooot I just said Merlooooooot."

"Yes you did, look, look there in the text. I can clearly see that you spelled Merlooooooot, each time with a different number of O's."

"Well which time did I spell it correctly?"

"Hmmm, let me see. Maybe the internet can tell us! Click on that thing there."

"That little red box in the corner? That's an ad; it could cause pop-ups and crash my computer!"

"That's absurd. Just click it."

Humphrey clicks the ad and the computer becomes bamboozled with pop-ups.

"I don't think the narrator used the word bamboozled correctly."

I know that, shut up. I just wanted to say it because it sounds funny.

"Well that's not a good enough reason to make a mistake like that while in the middle of a story."

It's not the middle I still have plenty of time to make up for it.

"Whatever you say. What happens next?"

What happens next? I'll tell you what happens next! The two guys, uhhh, made a big mistake by clicking the ad and Humphrey gets sucked into the computer and Bruce gets turned into a huge mashed potatoes monster! Ha! How do you like that? Huh?!

"What? I'm...I'm made of mashed potatoes. Why I don't like this at all! This is the least bit fun. Turn me back!"

Jim you sure you want to quit? Alright, best of luck out there. It's not easy finding another narrating job these days. Sure, sure, I'll finish the story for you.

"Who are you talking to? Who's Jim?"

Jim just qui....whooaaaaa, what the heck are you? Are you...is that...mashed potatoes?

"Yes, yes, the narrator that just left turned me into this. Now could you please turn me back?!"

Sorry, it doesn't work like that. I can't just undo what the last narrator did. I do know someone that can help. Hold on, let me find his lines. He'll help. This one narrator, ha ha, this one narrator here named Dan gave this guy a licorice tail and wooden hands. He knows what it's like out there in story land. He'll be able to help you for sure. Hmmm, where did I put those lines? Oh yea, the safe. I forgot how dangerous this guy can be.