Twenty Over Thirty || manxman

VII - Scars & Memories

Sitting up, James was taken aback when Kurt brought himself into the other man's lap, straddling his waist and wrapped his long legs around him. The young man also embraced their naked bodies, allowing himself to relax after their afternoon sex and he closed his eyes. For James, it was weird seeing Kurt this way. Even though he was not one-hundred percent familiar with all of this young man's mannerisms, this quiet, dismal mood wasn't like him at all. Smoothing his hands up and down Kurt's back to calm him, James tucked his face into the crook of his neck, "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he said, "But I would love to know what I could do to help."

"Twice," Kurt spoke up then, and James noticed how his body relaxed some, and his voice was small, soft and open. "I've almost died twice in me twenty years of life."

Instinctively, James arms tightened around the young man against him. "W – What? How?"

"My parents died when I was fourteen," he went on. "It happened when I was on holiday with them. We were going to a ski resort in France. Went there every year. Part of the road was iced over around a bend and when the car slid, it slammed up against a guardrail blocking a drop-off. It broke and the car went over. I don't remember the fall but when I came to, I had a concussion and my right arm was broken, a ton of scratches everywhere, and a man told me that my parents had been thrown from the car."

James was about to interrupt to tell Kurt he didn't have to open up about these things if he didn't want to, but the young man continued anyway.

"The second time was a year ago at uni."

"The school you went to?" James asked.

"Yes, Castleton University. When I was there I – I started a relationship with one of my professors. Call me what you will but I thought I was the luckiest lad in the world. No one knew since we decided it was best that we keep it to ourselves."

"Stop," James said abruptly as he began to feel Kurt shiver, and he knew it was because of the topic. "Stop, Kurt, you don't want to talk about this, that's fine, I don't mind. Just, please, calm down."

Feeling as tears dripped onto the top of his shoulder, James met Kurt's tearful, dark blue eyes. "He hurt me, Dimitri," he said, "I let him hurt me."

"Shh," James kissed Kurt's cheeks, wiping his tears away, "Shh, I'm here for you now and I will never let anyone put their hands on you ever again. I promise you a million times."

"He'll come after me," Kurt went on despite James' plea for him to stop. "He'll come after me and try to hurt you. He doesn't like when other people touch me." That single fear seemed to scare some sense into Kurt suddenly and he pulled out of James' arms.

"Wait!" the older man shouted after him, getting out of the bed as well when Kurt began to throw his clothes back on, fumbling with the sleeves and the zipper on his jeans.

"What have I done?" Kurt asked himself, "Now he'll come after you, Dimitri. I'm so sorry I involved you in this mess."

Throwing his t-shirt on over his head, James stumbled into the sweats he'd been wearing before hurrying after his neighbor. "Kurt, wait, please! I swear you don't have anything to afraid of as long as I'm around." When Kurt grabbed for the knob to the front door, James closed his hand around the young man's as well. "Please, don't run away from me. I meant what I said, all of it, and I just – want you with me. You can trust me, Kurt, you can trust me."

Stepping back, Kurt pressed up against the front of James' and the company of his body so close in proximity eased him. He lulled his head back and closed his eyes, embraced from behind as James kissed along his jawline. "I feel like – I feel like you're too perfect for me, Dimitri. I don't ever want you to get hurt because of me, because of the stupid mistakes I've made in my life."

"Nothing is your fault," James assured, "Whatever happened, I know it wasn't your fault."

"But, I let him hurt me."

"Don't say things like that. Whoever this person is, whatever he's done to you, he's a complete monster and all that he's done can never be your fault." James turned Kurt around to face him, "I'm here for you now, Kurt. I'm here."

_

A few hours went by after the episode and James was cooking dinner. Tonight it was simple spaghetti and meatballs. Kurt had gone to his own apartment a couple minutes ago to grab a few things. He was going to spend the night once again instead of staying at his place, and James was more than alright with that. He enjoyed having Kurt with him. Whether they were grabbing coffee and pastries from JoJo's or sitting in his living room watching movies, James was just happy to have someone he cared about in his apartment with him. Besides, after how distraught Kurt had been after getting off work, he wanted to make sure the young man was okay throughout the night. They could cuddle in his bed, have an easy conversation, or just have sex, anything that would keep Kurt calm.

Honestly, he had wanted to know the entire story of Kurt's background. Who had this person been to instill such raw fear and discomfort into someone as physically capable?

Must be a real nut job...

As he dumped the pot of noodles into a strainer in the sink, James glanced at his phone sitting on the counter nearby. The screen lit up as it vibrated, and Kellen's name was at the top of it. Given Kurt had stepped out for a minute, and he was still feeling a little bad for how he'd spoken to the man, James sighed and answered the call. "Look," he started without saying 'hello' first, "I'm sorry for how upset I got at you earlier. I don't know what came over me."

"It's okay," Kellen replied, "I just want you to know that I'm not upset because you're not sleeping with me, James. I will be honest and say I'm a little bummed that I've lost my chance, but I only want you to be safe with whatever you're doing. This guy you're seeing...make sure he treats you right."

"I will, Kellen. I've watched enough Investigation Discovery, so I'm confident I'd be able to spot a psycho from a mile away. And...I talked to him about the biting already. You don't have to worry."

"Good, I guess I'll just see you at work tomorrow then."

"Yeah, bye, Kellen."

"Bye."

When James hung up the phone, he heard the front door to his apartment open and Kurt enter. He had a small stack of clothes in his hands that he planned to wear tomorrow for work, and he kicked off his shoes beside the door as well.

"The food smells delicious," Kurt said, coming up behind the older man to embrace him. "You should have become a chef."

"It's just spaghetti and meatballs," James laughed, feeling his cheeks blush. It was nice to know someone appreciated even the little things he could do, like cook a simple meal.

"Yeah, but it's your spaghetti and meatballs."

James' smile widened, "That sounds funny in your accent."

"Make fun of me accent all you like," Kurt said, "But you Americans go crazy for it don't cha?"

"I'll admit to that," James kissed the young man from over his shoulder, "You drive me crazy."