The smile-less girl

seven

"Okay," awkward silence replaced what felt like warmth before. My hand left lost without his touch, I was worried I'd get lost and Jungkook would just leave me here.

"Jungkook um- can you- I mean please- could you hold my hand?" I face palmed myself at my stuttering, way to go making this even more awkward "sorry um- I-"

"Okay" he soon grabbed my hand and the warmth returned again. I just felt relief run through the tips of the finger, through each nerve. I was protected and it didn't matter that I was at a disadvantage right now. The desire to tell him that I was in fact blind was strong, but I wasn't so certain that it's the right time. As a blind person, you can't tell if someone's lying/pulling a prank and from Taehyung's mocking voice I haven't been as certain as I was before. What if, indeed, Jungkook was just making a joke out of me? How would I feel like? Ashamed unsettled, dumbfounded. I really didn't want to feel like that because I've experienced it before...

We spent the rest of the walk talking about his passion for dance and mine for ice skating.

Now that I mention it, I don't think I've ever spoken about me Ice skating. I learnt how to Ice skate at the age of 4 (yes I know I was tiny) from then onwards my life was devoted to practice until my the accident that made my life take a turn in the wrong direction, where it led to nowhere- as I thought. But slowly things started changing when a boy -my mums best friends son- encouraged me to start my passion again. It took a full 4 years after the accident to get me back on my sleek ice skates, but it worked, thanks to him. I was 9 at that age once I stepped on the ice again. Jungkook said that he also had a friend that loved to ice skate though they haven't seen each other for a while.

No one would suspect Jungkook to be so determined and I really applaud him for it. He's really definite about what he wants to do in the future and that does take quite a lot of patience and over thinking but really for him, it sounds easy.

Of course I love Ice skating, but I don't know if that's what I want to do. Environmental science is something that I would go for; It's a combination of Geography and Biology. It's hard to figure out what you want to do in the future. There're a tonne more risks tangled up in the situation when you're blind...

"Environmental science? That's interesting! It's different from the others. Everyone I talk to they're all about the maths. That subject seriously gets on my nerves sometimes"

"Jungkook, it's hard but if you don't try it will never be easy"

"You know what? you're right! I'll go home and revise"

Silence took over for a minute before Jungkook speaks up again. Something must have been on his mind.

"Yeri, can I ask you something?" He seemed a bit distraught from his tone of voice. I nod in reply.

He pauses still with my hand in his and I could feel him shift towards me.

"Why do you never smile?"

That's definitely was no expected. Actually, I'm equivocal about the exact reason.

"For me, there's not much to smile about anyway's"

Jungkook let a loud breath, sounding quite disappointed.

"Well" he paused "I'm going to change that"

"Huh- wait what?" I felt my forehead crinkle in bewilderment.

"I'll make you smile"

----

I felt warmth encircle my body and felt cushioning below me. Was I at home? It didn't smell like home.

The last thing I remember was sitting on a bench with Jungkook. We were debating whether or not aliens exist. It was a very random topic but I remember we were there for a minimum of 20 minutes just blabbering on. It was nice and I felt comfortable. It wasn't awkward like with others. I must have fallen asleep. That's when the panic settled in. I stretched my arm out to the side to touch my nightstand but it was just empty space.

Where am I a? Did Jungkook really kidnap me like I suspected?

"Jungkook! Jungkook" I continuously call out straining my voice. Tears brewed in my eyes as I was overwhelmed by the fear and uncertainty.

Some rustling could be heard and a door rapidly flew open.

"Yeri, oh my god, what's the matter?" Jungkook quickly ran to the side of the bed and placed his hands on my shoulder to study my tear stained cheeks. Once again I felt relieved. At least, it was just Jungkook.

After rubbing my cheeks frequently, they felt irritated. Jungkook hasn't said anything since. He let me calm down first.

"Yeri are you okay?" His voice was controlled but soothing; something I needed right now.

"Where am I?" I said while trying to control my breath as if I was resurfacing out of the water as if I was drowning.

"You fell asleep. So I took you home but no one was there. I couldn't just leave you there or look through your uniform or bag in search of the keys -that would be inappropriate- so I took you to my house. I'm sorry, I didn't think you would get so scared"

Anger boiled in me because that meant I have no idea where I am, or how to get downstairs (if I'm even upstairs that is). I didn't want him to find out, at least no now! I would be that pitiful Yeri in his eyes. I want a real friend, someone who treats me normally not a human being that is out at a disadvantage.

"Why would you do that?! Jungkook get out" I contained me voice before I was going to have a go at him. What would mum think? She's coming home tomorrow morning, she'll be freaked out! I was jittery from all the trepidation. How am I going to go home? How am I going to explain all this to Jungkook?

"Yeri let me expl-"

"Jungkook, I said get out"

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