The smile-less girl

seven

"Yeri would you like to see my friends and I dance? We have a competition coming up soon and I would like you to be the first to see it" his proposal made me ignite with an ecstatic feeling before I realised I can't. Even if I do go all I would be able to hear is music and squeaky noises coming from the friction between the sole of their trainers and the flooring. I can't just lie and say they were great. What if they ask which move was best? Or what they could improve?

No. I promised myself I wouldn't get tangled up in mess. I don't want to feel like a burden to a person and make them feel pity, especially Jungkook who has been everything but rude and narrow-minded. It would put me at ease if I told him about what I have to cope with each prolonged day.

But I really can't.

"I'm sorry Jungkook, but I can't. Please don't ask why. It's got nothing to do with you or your friends. In fact, I would love to go in all honesty" I try and reveal a smile but it probably came out as a sad one or no smile at all. Jungkook probably thinks I've got some house problems or my parents are really strict. My mum is a tad overprotective, but that's natural in my opinion. She worries a lot about me... When I mean a lot I mean a tremendous obsession over my well-being despite her not being home much. She's probably trying to make up for the lack of a fatherly figure I face. But I don't mind. It's not like I can see a difference anyway.

"I understand" Jungkook sighs despondently.

Jungkook let go of my hand and I felt guilt panting, about to attack my guts. He must hate me. Way to go in making a friend Yeri.

A few weeks ago, I'd be running away from him counting my steps two at a time as I attempt to move faster than my casual walk which in the eyes of a human, appears to look like a lifeless stroll. I feel so insecure I don't know where I'm going. What if he took me to some forest where he will murder me?

Ok, Yeri you're exaggerating. I'm sure you can't here a dozen cars beeping at each other in a forest

"I'm sorry Jungkook. I didn't mean to hurt you, but please understand I-"

"Oh hey, Jungkookie, who's this?" If my hearing could distinguish accordingly, then the person talking to Jungkook must be Taehyung, the school player.

"Hey Tae, this is Yeri, my friend" my friend, never in my life have I heard someone admit they considered me a friend; someone more than just an acquaintance or the smile-less girl. For me, there is no reason for me to smile. How can a person smile in utter darkness?

Clearly, his friend must know something about me because he let's out a whistle then proceeds to say "well then, good luck with her Jungkook. You got yourself a beautiful girl" whatever that was supposed to mean.

Beautiful girl....

Am I really decent in the players eyes? He probably mixed his words up with a hideous monster or something. For someone who can't look in the mirror, how are you even supposed to look decent let alone pretty.

"It was nice to meet you, Yeri. Hope to see you around"

"Likewise," I say monotonously,
unintentionally. Perhaps I'm just too used to being emotionless. It's quite hard to know if you look happy or initiate a certain emotion from your facial expression because you can't see them, and you can't tell if someone is happy or not.

I've heard that you can tell a lot from looking at a persons eyes, which I believe is utter crap. But staying on the safe side, if it is true, then people must see a pit of darkness in mine.

"Jungkook, was that Kim Taehyung?" I asked

Jungkook shifted his weight onto one side and I could feel him look at me"Yeah that was him, don't worry about what he said though"