Those Perfect Flaws || ✓ || PUBLISHED

Chapter 31

Date: 15th May, 2016.

I had to rewrite the whole thing because wattpad is a dickhead and didn't save whatever I had written. Brace yourselves because this is going to be long.

"No matter how high I crank up the volume when our song comes on the radio,

Some how, it is not enough to drown the sound of my heart breaking."

BLAZE'S POV

I climbed on podium and looked towards the mass of people. I recognised most of them as Nov's relatives and our friends. There was Aunt Christina, Uncle Dave, Tyler, Nov's cousin and many more I recognised easily. Her therapist too, Lily Mathews was there as well. I knew them all like the back of my hand.

Why did you have to go, Nov?

"Hey, I'm Blaze, Nov's- Alaska's boyfriend. I have practically known her since we were born and I don't regret a single minute I have spent with her." I paused.

Blinking back some tears, I continued, "We always ended up talking about random and unimportant things, may it be dictionaries or swimming pools or birthday parties. I distinctly remember this one time we were talking about eulogies. She said, "It's not eulogy, stupid. It's ewwlogy and we had laughed about it. I never thought I would actually be speaking an eulogy for her at such an young age. She wasn't even 18 for fu-God's sake." My voice cracked a bit in the end.

"She deserved more days than she got. She was smart, intelligent and very hard working. It may sound like I am talking about my daughter but she way my baby. Oh, and don't get me started on how sassy she was." I laughed lightly.

More tears started falling. "We were very close and practically lived with each other. We had this tradition of watching movies every Friday night. She can never do that again now. We can never do that. She never drank anything except Redbull and now she can't legally drink, ever. She can never enter an University of her choice. She can never start her own family, with me, obviously." I said jokingly, but cried along.

"The hardest part is letting go of the nights we shared. I want her back. She isn't gone. She can't be gone." A sob escaped my lips. But I continued, thinking wherever Nov is, she would be listening to me. "The first night she was in the ICU, I wasn't allowed to go inside. But I needed to see her, see if she was going to be alright, so I sneaked in. All sorts of wires were attached to her and her skin was unusually pale. Her eyes shut close, eyelashes casting a shadow on her cheeks, and in that moment she looked so peaceful yet so in pain. She looked so fragile that I couldn't bear to touch her, thinking I will break her. The red marks from before were comically standing out from her extremely pale skin of her arms. All I ever wanted to do was to hold her, but I couldn't. So I just settled on giving her a lingering kiss on her forehead and held her hand until the sun came up." I stared ahead, looking past the crowd.

//Play 'If I Could Fly' by One Direction (in the attachment)\\

"She was my angel- She is my angel and will always remain my angel. How ironic it is that she is literally an angel now." I looked at Nov's mother and saw her cry more as I said that part.

"When I got the news of her death, all I could think of was that it was all a stupid April fool's joke and she would open her eyes and laugh at my reaction, then say, "Ha! I fooled you!" but she was already long gone and she took my heart with her. I cannot love anyone just as deeply as I love her. I cannot replace her at any cost. She will always hold a special place in my heart, no matter what." I paused for a solid minute, trying to calm the tsunami building inside me.