We'll Carry On

We'll Carry On 2

(Nonnie's POV)

I sat in the passenger's seat letting the cold air numb me. That is until Gerard closed the window. "Non your going to catch a cold, look your shivering." I hadn't realized it. He reached behind my seat and pulled out his leather jacket. "Put it on. Frank is not going to kill me cause you got sick."

"Gee, I don't know how to feel or what to do." I said after we drove in silence for awhile.

"How do you want to feel? What do you want to do?"

"I want not to be mad at Frank for something I already forgave him for. I want not to feel threatened by a baby. I want his first born to come from me." I wasn't crying in fact, I was mad at myself for feeling these things.

"Don't hit me for saying this and I know it might sound brash, but how is this any different than the child you are carrying?" he said, "I mean you don't know that its Frank's." Ouch.

"I...I didn't cheat on Frank, I was raped that's a big difference Gerard." I said anger rising into my voice. How dare he say that.

"Hey first of all calm down. Secondly hear me out Frank was drugged so you might as well say he was raped too cause he had no control over his actions." I took a deep breath.

"But...but what if he loves that baby more than he loves mine. I mean I can't expect him to love them equally knowing that one may not be his."

"Non that's stupid. Frank will love that child 'cause its half you. You see how much he loves whole you, he'll love that child just as much if not more. So why can't you do the same?" he said pulling over to the side, we had basically driven around the block twice and now were parked in front of a house around the corner from mine.

"But..." I started.

"No, Non there are no buts about it. Do you love Frank?"

"That Gerard is a stupid question." I said with a smile.

"Then do what he's going to do, love his son half as much as you love him and that will be more than enough." I looked at him, and put my hand on my stomach. He started driving again. I guess headed home.

"You are a good friend Gerard." I said as he pulled up to my house.

"You just remember that come Christmas, I don't want no tube socks okay."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Now go talk to your fiancé." I leaned as best I could toward him and kissed him on the cheek. Then got out and headed into the house. When I came in all the guys were sitting in the living room.

"Hey Mikey you owe me twenty bucks she didn't run off to LA." I looked over at Bob and rolled my eyes. "What? I was for you staying." I just smiled. Then I heard the baby crying up stairs.

"He won't stop crying no matter what Frank does." Ray said. "We all tried." I walked up the stairs and found Frank in the nursery. I'd had him paint it in tones of yellow and green since we were unsure of the sex at first, plus I hate the color pink with a passion.

"Shuu shuu its okay little guy." Frank cooed trying to calm the baby.

"Here," I said holding out my arms. He turned with a surprised look on his face. "Come on and go see if one of the guys can find out what kind of formula he's on, I think he's hungry." He handed me the baby and left me there. I looked down at the small child. He had Frank's nose and eyes, but fuller lips. His hair was soft and brown like Frank's natural color. I started to hum demolition lovers. It was one of the only songs I could think of that might pass as a lullaby. My mother had never taught any to me, and well he seemed to like it. It wasn't long before he calmed down and was just looking up at me. He even had the same color eyes as Frank, a stark contrast to his light brown skin.