Work Harder | g.d

15

Grayson

Another door slammed in my face

Another problem I can't fix.

Or so I thought.

I sighed and dragged myself back to my apartment.

After closing the door, I slumped down onto my couch and reached my hand out to the nearly empty can of beer on the glass table.

But I hesitated.

I let my hand drop to my lap again.

What was I doing with my life?!

There were a few cigarette stubs laying around the floor, the house smelt of smoke and beer, a mixture I only just realised was intoxicating me.

My legs felt sore, but I got up anyway, picking up all of the stubs and empty cans.

What are you doing to yourself?

Megan's voice echoed in my head.

You killed my mom.

Maddie's voice echoed in my head.

You fucking jerk, leave!

Kylie's voice echoed in my head, and soon, my mind was a whirling tornado of voices, making me dizzy.

I shrunk back down to the sofa and held my head in my hands, rocking back and forth gently. My eyes were shut tightly, as I tried to push the voices out of my head.

I heard a distant noise coming from the kitchen, so I quickly got up and found my phone ringing and vibrating against the counter.

I didn't catch the contact name, but as soon as I heard the voice from the other end of the line reply, the voices in my head vanished, popping out of my head like a bubble.

"Nick?" my voice was rough and raspy, so I cleared it while returning to the living room.

"Uh, yeah......" he replied. There was an awkward pause as my face creased in confusion, but he finally let out a sigh. A long sigh that told me how many things he just wanted to clear off. "Look. I think it's been a while." he started.

I sighed too, letting out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

"Yeah." I responded.

"I just wanted to have some time to just.....cool off," he continued, "but, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for just leaving like that. I know you must've had a harder time than me...."

My mouth had dropped open as he trailed off, "The person you have to be apologising to is Maddie." I blurted before I could stop myself.

"I know," he mumbled, "I did."

"Oh." My mind was filling up with so many thoughts, I hadn't realised that I hadn't even said sorry to him. He deserved it more than me. "Hey, uh, I am so sorry too. If it weren't for me, we would still be friends and we wouldn't have had anything to worry about."