Obsession

Ch 43 - Fighting Gravity

I should have known he'd go crazy.

"You can't quit me. It would destroy me."

I pointed out, "And you quitting the band would destroy Calum, Michael, and Luke. Not to mention, the fans. The guys were part of your life long before I came along, and they'll be there long after I'm gone."

He placed his hands on either side of my face and spoke loudly. "Stop talking about leaving me!"

For the first time, Ashton scared me. I was 99% sure he wouldn't hurt me. But the way he'd been behaving had me questioning that percentage. I calmly but sternly told him, "Ashton. Let go."

It was like someone flipped a switch, and he realized what he was doing. His face softened and he let go.

I immediately stood to leave. "I have to get out of here for a little bit, so you can clear your head. You're not thinking clearly. And I don't know how to help you, but you need help."

My voice cracked and I saw Ashton reach for me, but I continued toward the door. I was surprised when he didn't try harder to stop me. I paused long enough to tell him, "I love you." The words barely came out, so I wasn't even sure he heard them.

Corey stopped me. "Are you okay? How's Ash doing?"

Of course, I was crying again at this point. "I don't know, Corey. I don't know anything right now. Come get me if you need me, but I'm trying to give us both some space right now."

"Sure thing."

I could hear music coming from Michael's room before I got to it. Acoustic guitars, specifically. I felt better before I even knocked on the door. I had to knock a couple of times, though, because they couldn't hear me over the music.

Traci opened the door and led me to sit on the floor near the end of the couch where Michael was sitting. She handed me a cup that she had already prepared for me. I took a sniff to figure out what was in it. Whatever it was, it was strong, which was exactly what I needed.

She told me, "One more minute, chick. You had one more minute left and I was putting on the boxing gloves. Wait, that's probably not the best thing to say right now. But holy fuck, you're crying again. Do I need to go kick his ass for real? Was he an asshole?"

I laughed through my fading tears at her rambling. I answered the last question, "Yes and no. He's all over the place. I didn't accomplish anything. I finally just had to leave. I think we just need to spend a couple hours apart and regroup." I realized the boys were listening to me, which was a little embarrassing. But I forgot all about my embarrassment when I looked at Michael. I gasped at the bluish-purplish fist sized mark on his left cheek.

"Fuck, Mikey." I got up to take a closer look and I tentatively touched it. "It looks so much worse already. I'm so sorry. You're going to have to perform in front of everyone with that. Shit."

He offered a tight smile and I suddenly felt awkward for invading his personal space, so I sat back down.

He said, "Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault. I'm just sorry I didn't get to hit him back, or keep him from doing that to you."

"I'm fine. He didn't mean it. But I don't know if I can forgive him so easily for hitting you. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing!"

"Okay! Sorry."

Everyone laughed at me for apologizing yet again. I told them, "Okay, let's get back to this music I heard before I came in. Go ahead, carry on."

All things considered, we had a great time. They played for a little bit, mostly goofing around and making up nonsense songs. Then we played a drinking game that Michael made up, which wasn't really even a game. It wasn't a game because we all had to take a drink every time someone cursed. So we all drank the same amount. Needless to say, we all ended up sloshed within an hour, especially Traci and me. But if there was ever a night I needed to be drunk, that was definitely it. My lip hurt from laughing so much, but it didn't take long before I wasn't feeling any pain at all. I also couldn't feel my nose. That's how I know I've had too much.