Endless || Dan Howell x reader (sequel to Unbroken)

Twelve~

~Dan's POV~

After (y/n) ran out of the apartment, I immediately wanted to run after her. What the fuck was wrong with me? I couldn't believe the words that came out of my mouth that night, and I also couldn't blame her for leaving.

I knew, however, that me being there would just further her hurt and anger, so I sat on the sofa and waited.

and waited...

and waited...

and waited.

I'm not sure exactly how long I sat there just staring at the door, praying for (y/n) to come walking through it. I started pacing around the room, millions of pessimistic thoughts running through my head, before I got too impatient and practically sprinted out the door.

At that point, I didn't care if she hated me, or even never wanted to see me again. I just needed to know she was safe.

I ran out of the apartment building and into the frigid London air, my breath turning to clouds and evaporating right in front of me. The cold air pierced my lungs every time I inhaled, sending violent shivers down my spine.

The sun was just starting to rise. A few people were out, getting into their cars and going to work. Doors slamming shut and car engines roaring to life.
I sprinted down the few steps onto the pavement and looked up and down the street frantically, as if expecting (y/n) to be there. I could almost see her just walking home from Starbucks like every Saturday morning, Winnie's small hand intertwined with hers.

I started walking, whipping my head around in every direction in fear of missing her. I was starting to lose the feeling in my fingers, so I pulled the sleeves of my jumper over my hands to keep them from freezing.

I don't know at what point that I started crying, but I eventually felt the hot tears gliding down my cheeks and dripping off my chin, contrasting the bitter cold air seeping into my skin.
What if she was in trouble? What if something happened? I could not live with myself if I was the reason for her getting hurt. Again.

I was lost in a sea of my own negative thoughts when I caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye. I turned towards it, and what I saw only confirmed my terrifying thoughts.

(Y/n)'s cellphone was lying on the pavement a few steps ahead of me. I instantly knew it was hers from the (fav/band) case around it, cracked in one of the corners. The glass screen was shattered, as if someone had dropped it.

I felt physically sick to my stomach when I started to comprehend the situation. My muscles tensed to a point where it was almost painful as I kneeled down on the ground, unable to form any thoughts. My hand was shaking as I reached out for the phone, clutching it tightly in my grip as if that would somehow bring her back.

This was all a dream, right? This was all some sick, twisted dream that my mind had come up with just to fuck with me. I would wake up soon with (y/n) asleep next to me and Winnie and Hazel safely in bed in their room. But no matter how much I wished, how many times I closed my eyes and prayed to wake up, I didn't. This was reality. (Y/n) was gone.

My body started trembling as I stood up, trying to push the awful thoughts of what could've happened away. My breath shortened as I started pacing, struggling to even think straight.

'Okay Dan, stay calm, panicking will only make it worse.'
I had learned that the hard way.

I subconsciously found myself walking as fast as I could back to the apartment. I almost worried that I had left Hazel in the apartment by herself, but sighed in relief when I remembered that she spent the night at Carly and Phil's because they thought (y/n) and I needed a night to ourselves. That clearly didn't turn out well.