A Single Moment Of Sincerity [SOMEONE SOMEWHERE SEQUEL]

Holy shit, I've lost my mind

My eyes, still weighed down in their homes of sockets slowly rolled back, attempting to raise the eye lids. The phone's shrill call rang out once more and I snapped alert. Why the fuck did I put that as my ringtone, I thought at the annoying sound playing out into the stiff air that surrounded me. I pushed my body upright, staring angrily at the phone that continued to disrupt my peace. The screaming phone still demanded my undivided attention as I snatched it from its resting place, jabbing it to my face.

“Hello.” I snapped, instantly wishing I hadn't.

“Yes, Hello, 'Melissa' I've waited to talk to you.” A voice I didn't recognise spoke, though I knew t was a girl, and her voice was just a tone too high to be pleasant.

“Uhh... Who are you?”

“You don't know me? Awh really? So Ben never told you?” Almost sung; mocking me.

“No, why would he.”

“Wait you're telling me he never mistakes you're name? Ohh he's good at this then.”

“What! What are you even on about, and who are you anyway!” Temptation was building, I wanted to scream, throw the phone away, anything, but something kept me talking. I wanted to know what was actually happening.

“Why don't you go ask your dear fiancé, maybe he'll come clean about his past, about me? What do you think he's doing at night now he isn't with you. Or more importantly who do you think he's doing.”

The words were becoming viscous daggers.

“I... I don't believe you. We're engaged. He loves me.”

“Oh but listen honey, you aren't sure now are you. And anyway don't you think the engagement was a little quick?”

“He was going away for months! I've been his best friend all my life! We were practically dating for most of it. What's this to do with you anyway!”

“It's a shame how much you don't know about him isn't it.”

“What does that mean...exactly?” I toyed with my words. Worried about the outcome but wanting to see what she'd tell me.

“I'm just saying maybe you need to talk to him, that's all, get him to admit what's really going on. I mean, how many girls throw themselves at him? You think he'll be faithful?”

“He promised, and yes, I do.” Though now doubt was fogging my brain.

“Well then he's a lucky boy isn't he. Just leave him alone okay, he doesn't love you, you're his toy for home, I'm the one he wants!”

The phone clicked off, leaving me in total silence with the exception of my stirring thoughts.

The anger boiled over me, my cheeks burning a crimson red from the rage and confusion that was coursing through me. How much more news am I going to get today? I asked myself, pushing my head firmly into the feather pillow again and again.

A slow shaky sigh burst through my lips, for the second time today my barriers broke and I knew that I could no longer contain my emotions. Tears battered my face as I battered my bed, I couldn't even begging to think what could be happening. Maybe it wasn't true, but then maybe it was. I had to distract myself.

The air was still cool, the light the same bitter grey that hung close to all object, almost smothering them as it cloaked me all the same. Wide sheets of rain dropped from the sky, pelting me with light splatters of rain, which helped hide my tears and gave me an excuse for my smeared make up if ever someone was close enough to see. Tall grey buildings lined both sides of every street, their eye like windows stared down at the people who dared to pass under them, as if to challenge their arrival. I declined each one.

Walking miserably with no destination in mind I slowly moped through the grimy, murky London streets, letting the chill breeze awaken me, and bring more logic into my rage intoxicated thoughts.. Slowly, as I calmed down, after about 40 minutes of walking I decided to search for a quiet spot to sit in. Not that it would be difficult, when it rains everyone heads for shelter, even if it was only a small drizzle, so I chose to make a beeline for the closest spot to sit, there was one called I needed to make and I knew already what I had to say.

The green grass was still masked in the fog as well as hidden by shade cast from the looming oaks above. I sat upon a stone bench and stared ahead of me for a few hideous moments, debating with myself whether or not to go ahead with this. Though I knew that there was really no choice.

Tentatively, I slipped my phone out of my pocket, holding it, my arm outstretched in front of me, as if bringing it closer would destroy me. My eyes drifted down onto the lead weight I supported in my hand as I drew in a long breath. It's now or never, I told myself, snapping my eyes tightly shut and listening to the phone connect as I lifted it to my ear.

After 2 rings it was picked up. Eager to talk I guess. I shuddered and pushed away any remaining fear.

“Hello, I need to talk to you, urgently.”