Whenever You Remember

Chapter 12

She took in a sharp breath, "The doctors said that around 2:00 in the morning, your grandfather had a stroke. Since it was the middle of the night, no one knew anything was wrong until late the next morning." Mom was slow with her words, and then she added shakily "And by then, it was too late."

My breathing was ragged, the way it always is when I'm trying not to cry. The tears were threatening to fall, and I took this moment to glance at my family members. What I saw broke my heart.

Mom had clearly been crying, and was the glue that was holding my family from falling apart. It was my dad's father, after all. But I could tell that she was struggling with it.

Jane was staring at me with slightly red eyes. She wiped a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. She seemed relieved that I was here now.

The twins were sitting next to each other, glued at the hip as usual. Blake was looking at his hands with sadness clear in his eyes, and Luke was looking at Blake with worry and equally despairing eyes.

The last person I looked at was my dad. The sight of him shot a pang of hurt through my heart. Grandpa was my dad's dad, and they were close. My dad was a strong man: tough, happy, and hilarious. But now, for the first time in my life, I saw severe sadness, and few tears slip from his eyes. He took in a sharp breath before quickly wiping them away.

It's a sight I'll never unsee, and it still hurts to remember.

In that moment, I realized how badly my family needed me. They needed me to be strong, and brave, and hold them all together. When all I want to do right now is go my room, scream, and cry out of my anger and sadness, I knew I couldn't. Especially for the sake of Dad.

I wouldn't let any of them see me cry.

The room lapsed in to another silence. I took the moment to move and sit in between Blake and Luke on the couch, wrapping an arm around both their shoulders and effectively bringing them in to a half-hug. I rested my head on Blake's in attempt to comfort him and myself.

Not much else happened that day. Everyone was either eerily silent, or moving around quickly in order to distract ourselves. We'd watch TV, or I'd help Mom out in the kitchen. I also played Monopoly with Blake, Luke, and Jane. I focused as little as I could on my own feelings and instead tried to fix my broken family members.

It had been decided that the funeral would be Thursday. But then, we decided that a funeral wasn't right. Charles Kingston Jr. would hate a depressing gathering for his death. What Grandpa would want is for us all to remember the good times, laugh, and relive all the great memories we had with him.

So a Celebration of Life ceremony would be held Thursday at our very own Kingston Household.

I was walking up to my room, completely worn out from the emotional toll of the day, and as I got to the stairs, I noticed the office light was on. Curious, I walked down to see Dad sitting at his desk.

"Dad?" I broke the stillness of the office by asking.

His sad blue eyes met mine, and he offered a small smile, "Hey kid."

"What are you doing?" I asked while approaching him.

He sighed, "Just looking at a few old pictures." I observed his desk and saw dozens of pictures if Grandpa, Dad, Grandma, and Dad's siblings. Grandma had passed away before I was even born, so I don't even know if this was his same reaction then. I seriously hope not, because the thought of that makes me heart feel heavy.

I laughed while picking up a picture, "Is this you?"

Dad sighed, but I noticed a tiny smile forming. "Yes."