Zodiac Signs & how to tell if they're problematic

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[A/N] basically this chapter is a whole entire joke so don't take it seriously

ARIES
angry all the time
thinks it's cool to say the f-word
doesn't flush the toilet
too hot? (hot damn)
always at the top of every astrology post

TAURUS
owns too many cats
uses Pinterest
takes all their selfies on snapchat
actually lives inside a refrigerator

GEMINI
two faced!!!!!!11!11!!!!1!!!
always beats u at tic-tac-toe
talks fast
2spoopy4me

CANCER
hogs the snacks
farts a lot
is literally drowning in a pool of their own tears
dances like a white dad at a barbecue

LEO
owns 372 mirrors
on their phone too much
unpopular opinions
better hair than u

VIRGO
watches too many cat videos
kekekekekekekekekek
has an entire bottle of Lysol inside their butthole
too nice wtf

LIBRA
cuter than u
smarter than u
pee is clearer than urs
better than u in every possible way

SCORPIO
uses the eggplant emoji too much
is a nerd
tries to seduce you all the time (and succeeds)
takes too long to text back

SAGITTARIUS
is a weeb
overly competitive
actually owns a centaur but won't tell me where it is
(lmao wtf)
smile is cuter than urs

CAPRICORN
has hella cheekbones
makes bad puns
wears mismatched socks
doesn't wash their hands

AQUARIUS
is also a weeb
the CUTEST smile
has an alien hidden in their bedroom
smol

PISCES
talks 2 their stuffed animals
sleeps all the time
forgets to text back too much
a e s t h e t i c

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