This is How I Disappear

No Matter What (Gerard)

Its like she is some fucking disease or something.

A leech that just holds on and never lets go.

I broke up with her last night and here she is trying to make out with me.

I guess this is my punishment for getting with the chick I saw.

Ugh...someone get rid of Alexis for me.

"Gee how about we go for lunch and then we go back to the bus and have dessert."

"Oh for fuck's sake girl I broke up with you last night! I don't give a shit about you!"

"I know you didn't mean it. I know you love me."

"Have I ever said that?"

"Well that...well no."

"Exactly now get the hell away from me and don't come near anybody from the band, the crew, management and stay away from Bella. Or I swear you will regret it. Now leave me the fuck alone!"

"I hate you Gerard Way and I swear you will pay for this!!"

"Whatever I don't care."

Shit shit shit where did she walk off to?

Just remember she was wearing a leather jacket, dress and boots.

I ran all over looking for her.

Thank god it's our day off or this would have interfered with mw getting ready for the show.

You know vocal warm ups and stuff.

Come on you could have just disappear.

Where did you go B. Black?

And there she was....walking wearing those shades and singing the same song I was.

I walked up slowly behind her...payback time.

"you know I love that song."

"Oh my fucking gawd.!! You scared me you asshole!"

"how does it feel now?"

"I see your point. Remind me to never do that to you again."

"I will. So. Can we talk about some things?"

"What kind of things?"

"Things about a possible us?"

"Ah okay. What do you want to talk about specifically?"

"If there will be an us?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

"What do I have to do to prove to you I really care about you and want to be with you?"

"Show me I can trust you. With anything I throw at you. I want to know that no matter what you find out about my past you will be here beside me, holding my hand and still care about me."

"I will always be here for you. No matter what. I promise you. "

I went up to her and held her.

I just don't want to lose her.

She makes me feel so different.

I have never felt like this about any girl I have dated in the past.

This strong pull towards one person.

I can't let her go.

I won't.

"I think I believe you Gerard."

"You should because I mean it sugar."

She looked up at me and smile up at me.

She had the most dazzling smile.

And the most hypnotic eyes.

Such a vibrant shade of green.

Gosh she was so beautiful.

"Can I ask you something Bells?"

"Yeah."

"Wo-Wou-wo-"

"Spit it out Gee."

Shit why am I stuttering?

"O-Okay. Will you...Will you go out with me tonight?"

"Where?"

"It's a surprise."

"haha okay I would love to."

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Okay she said...now where the fuck am I going to take her?

Oh I will figure that out later.

I just want to enjoy this.

"You want to head back? I feel like playing my guitar."

"Sure babe anything you want."

She smiled at me and held out her hand.

I took it and we walked back to the bus.

Taking our time and just enjoying this time together.

I won't lose her.

I won't let her go.

No matter what.