This is How I Disappear

"so long and goodnight"

I had told Mikey everything.

It was time I let someone in, it might as well be Mikey.

Because I couldn't let in Gerard, something inside me just couldn't.

Or I would have by now but, he isn't around much.

So Mikey would be my best bet, he would keep my secret.

I knew I could trust him.

After the night in the motel by the pool.

He came to my side when I had awoken up from a bad dream, I looked like a wreck but he was there to comfort me and didn't ask me question he just sat there with me and I put my head on his shoulders until I feel asleep again.

He was a great friend.

My relationship with Bob was going well.

He was caring and just wonderful.

But deep inside maybe I was hoping to fall in love with him, but I couldn't.

Because deep down inside I knew I was in love with.....

"Gerard!!"

"Huh?"

"Hey Bells Have you seen Gerard?"

"No Frankie I haven't. Actually I haven't seen him at all lately, it's like he disappears as soon as we stop to the next venue."

"Yeah, I just wanted to tell him that Brian got his new makers and watercolors are here. Well I might as well go search for him."

"Alright. I think I will go play with Ray's acoustic for while then, Bob went out somewhere and I didn't feel well enough to go with him. And well he didn't want me to for some odd reason."

"Okay hun make up a new song for me."

"I will try."

He kissed my head and ran off to find Gerard.

I went to the back and went to go find Ray's guitar he always kept it out on the account I always play it.

It made it easier for me too I tune it before I played and after as well because Ray played it at shows.

I sat down and picked it up.

I started to Beatles song that Ray had taught me.

"A day in the Life", he said it was called.

I strums and tune of the song soothed me and right in the middle of it I heard arguing...

"Gerard you are not bringing that thing in so you can please it."

"Mikes come on she is on my ass to introduce her to you guys. She says that I am ashamed of her or some shit."

"See you don't even like her! Why are you with her then!!"

"You know, and I just can't Mikey I can't"

"Yes you can just tell B-"

and put the guitar down walked to the front of the bus.

and watched them they must have heard me because they stopped arguing when they saw me.

"Hey what are you guys arguing about?"

"Oh Bells its nothing. Right Gerard?"

"I-I got to go."

"Wait Gerard"

and with that he just left.

"I miss him."

"What?"

"I miss my time with him, it just seems like he doesn't want to me near me or even look at me."

"Oh sweetie its not you, trust me this is all him."

"Oh okay."

"Hey since you are here I found something of yours when I looking for a shirt of mine in the clothes pile."

"what is it?"

"Here"

"It's an iPod."

"Yeah I think its your because it didn't belong to any of us. I think it was on you when we found you. The battery was dead so I recharged it for you. Now you can stop stealing mine"

"Thank you Mikey you are the best."

"I try."

I gave him a hug and went to sit down and I breathed in and put the ear phones in my ear and turn it on.

I knew how to work it on the account I always steal Mikey's

I was just amazed at how much music I had on it.

everything and everyone I liked

It even had all the guys music in it, but I didn't want to play it. I was still recovering from the performance

and the memories that brought.

I had all the Beatles catalogue and I just layed down and enjoyed it.

"Bella? Bella?"

"Huh?"

"Bella babe. Wake up."

"Hi Bob."

"hey I got you something."

"Really?! What?"

"Here, open it."

"Oh my. Bob You didn't have to."

"Yes I had to."

"It's so beautiful, I don't know what to say."

"Just day you will wear it everyday."

"I promise I will.! Help me put it on."

"Alright here you go."

He gave me a beautiful gold locket

with So long and goodnight engraved on the front of it.

I opened it to find a picture of all the guys smiling.

"I had Brian take the picture. It was while back before Gerard was all weird."

"This is just so beautiful and wonderful I love it thank you so much Bob."

"I know how much all of us meant to you so everyone pitched in and we wanted to give you this, to remember us by."

I gave him a kiss to thank him

I started to pull away when he put his hands on my face and brought me back to him.

and we continued the kiss.

He ran his fingers through my hair.

and I kept kissing him, and we slowly started to lay back.

Soon he was on top of me.

and he started planting kisses on my neck

I enjoyed it and smiled

"GET A ROOM!!!"

we both stopped and shot straight up and smoothed out our clothes.

"Gees man easy on the make out sessions."

"Very funny Frank."

"Hey I am just saying if we left you guys here any minute longer, a baby could have been fathered."

I blushed and Bob looked away.

"Oh thank you guys by the way for the locket."

"He gave it to you!!"

"Yeah, its lovely thank you."

we gathered for a group hug and started to play some video games.

it was bound to happen I have been with the guys for so long.

"Alright Toro you are going down!"

"Bring it Bella!"