This is How I Disappear

Alternate

After standing there watching Gerard walk away from me

I decided to head in and shower and change

I walked with my head down

I just wished I hadn't made a fool in front of Gerard

I wish I never asked him to kiss me

we would still be having a blast with his paints

I feel like a fucking loser

rejection

ugh i don't like it

no one was on the bus except for Bob

he was just staring at me

like I was a freak

maybe I am one

"Hey Bella why are you covered in paint?"

"I was having a paint war with Gerard."

"Oh where is he now?"

"I don't know he just left me there."

"Why what happened?"

I am not going to tell anyone about the

lapse of idiocy

so I kept my mouth shut

"I dont know he just left."

"oh hey I was wondering that you might...ummm...we have some down time before the show and I was wondering...if..you...ummm"

"Spit it out already Bob"

"I was wondering maybe if you wanted to go grab a bite to each with me...you know..like a...like a date?"

"Oh."

I never really thought of Bob that way

I mean we just hung around, talked and played pranks on each other

I never would have thought that he felt something for me

maybe

maybe he is what I need since Gerard isn't really into me

I could be happy with Bob

I mean why not?

You don't like him thats why

But I can learn to like him

maybe even love him one day

you know won't be able to forget about Gerard

I know but he doesn't feel anything

and I should try to be happy

alright but don't come crying to me when you break his heart

I will not!

yeah sure whatever.

I will be happy you see!!

"It's okay if you don't want to go. I mean I understand."

"No, no. I would like to go have lunch with you Bob."

"Really?"

"Yeah let me just get cleaned up and get fresh clean clothes on and we will head out."

"Alright I will be waiting here."

"Okay be right back!."

I can be happy with Blue rather than hazel

right?

ha! you're joking right?

shut up!