Avengers Texts

The One Where Clint Saves The Day (As Usual)

"Tony, I-" Steve faltered as Tony walked away from him, and up the stairs between Bruce and Sam.

"I'm gonna go talk to him. If his best friend does shit like this, maybe he should talk to someone he doesn't like."

"What did you do?" Bruce asked, awed. Tony stopped at the top of the steps.

"He told Sam that Bucky was trans. Against his wishes. To make a point," he called down, and then disappeared.

Bruce's face went from confusion to disbelief to anger in a few seconds. Natasha grabbed his arm and tried to pull him up the stairs.

"Bruce, come on. Upstairs. Come on," she soothed, hiding the panic she felt. If he Hulk'ed out on the stairs, he'd probably mess up the structure of the house or hurt someone. He'd never forgive himself if he hurt or, God forbid, killed one of his friends. "Let's go. Talk to him when you've cooled down?"

"Bruce, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to. It just happened, and I was only trying to help, honestly, I never meant to hurt..." Steve's words caught in his throat. He clenched his jaw, the tough guy way of suppressing tears.

Bruce was not impressed. His breathing got heavier and quicker, and he shook Natasha off his arm.

"You arrogant cis prick-" Bruce started, growling. Clint stepped in at that point, striding confidently and completely unafraid right up to the angry scientist.

"Okay, baby. Let's go. Look at me," Clint shoved Bruce lightly in the chest to get his attention. Bruce looked down at him, and the push had clearly made him madder, but Clint was unfazed. "There we go. See this face? This face is gonna be disappointed if you go green and fight Steve. Because if you do, you'll probably hurt Natasha and Sam more than you will Steve. And I know you don't really wanna fight Steve. Well- Maybe you do. I know Sam does, and probably Tony, so if you really want to fight him, you'll need to get in line," Clint laughed, the only one exempt from the tension in the room. 

Natasha was quietly pulling Sam to the door and gesturing for Steve to follow. Steve wasn't moving.

"You can probably take Steve without going Hulk," Clint continued, brushing imaginary dirt off Bruce's shirt. "Honestly. He'll probably just let you kick the shit out of him right now. He feels like crap. And I know it sucks that he represents our country as a moral pillar and then he does garbage like this, right? But you're better than that. You're Bruce Banner. You have things to worry about besides Steve accidentally being a shitty guy. Like the goo in your lab, or curing cancer, or your relationship status," Bruce's shoulders shrunk at the last part. "Yeah, that's right. I'm still mad at you. I'll be doubly mad if you break Tony's house and kill Steve."

"Fine," Bruce sighed after a moment. Natasha and Sam relaxed visibly, and Natasha muttered something into her wristwatch. "I won't fight him."

"I didn't say you couldn't fight him. You should kick his ass. But, you should, not the other guy," Clint put a hand on Bruce's face. Bruce laughed softly and opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but then his whole form went slack. "Oh, fuck!" Clint exclaimed, grabbing the larger man quickly and practically throwing him away from the stairs so he would fall on a flat surface.

"Is he okay?!" Sam rushed over.

"He's fine," Natasha rolled her eyes and laid across the couch lazily. "He has narcolepsy. Falls asleep."

"Yeah, and guess who gets to carry him up the stairs," Clint huffed, trying to lift Bruce. Steve walked over and picked him up in one fluid movement. "Good one, Capitano. We're putting him in his room."

"You got it," Steve nodded, following Clint up the stairs and eyeing Bruce warily.

"You hurt him and I'll kill you," Clint called behind him cheerily. Steve moved faster.

"Is Bucky okay?" Sam asked.

"How would I know?" Natasha sighed, sitting up. "I haven't seen him. He's upstairs somewhere. Text him or something. Tony's probably giving him some A+ wisdom, I wouldn't worry."

"Tony's really upset with Steve, huh?"

"Bruce is his best friend. And plus, Tony's kinda against societal gender norm stuff. And he's close to the situation, I'll say that. Bruce is very close to his heart."

"I feel bad. All this is because-" Sam stopped. "No, wait, I don't feel bad, because this wouldn't have happened if you guys didn't try to shove people together as soon as they start hanging out. This is totally Steve's fault. No one asked him to play matchmaker."

"True. But I love him, sadly."

"Sadly, so do I."

"I love you toooooo, Wilson."

"Oh, well of course. Who doesn't."

"Ahem."

"I'm kidding, I love you toooooooo," he mimicked her tone teasingly.

"Queerplatonic sisterwives for life?" She stuck a fist out. He bumped it with his own and they both made exploding finger motions.

"Queerplatonic sisterwives for life."