Avengers Texts

The One Where Natasha Comes Back

Downstairs had quickly become chaotic. Wade was freaking out about Peter, Clint had taken truth or dare way too far and Bruce was mad at him, Sam came back downstairs sans Bucky, Tony and Steve disappeared for an hour during this and came back looking disheveled, Thor was becoming frustrated that Bruce had maybe killed Loki. Clint quickly pulled Sam into the kitchen when he came down, glad for the chance to escape the tension of the living room.

"What is going on?" Sam asked.

"Thor's mad at Bruce, Bruce is mad at me, Tony and Steve probably had sex or something-"

"Ew!"

"Grow up, man. But yeah, ew. And Wade is high key freaking out. Like, if Peter doesn't show up in five minutes, we're gonna have to sedate that motherfucker or something because he is about to give me high blood pressure."

"Peter and Natasha are still M.I.A.?"

"Yeah. I'm a little worried about Natasha. A bit. I mean, I'm sure she's fine, so I'm not so much worried as I am pissed that she's not telling us where she is."

"Are you actually pissed or are you saying that to cover up how worried you are?"

"Usually, I would do that, but this time I'm really not. She does stuff like this. But usually she at least texts- You know, I think she's doing it to prove a point to Wade? Because he never answers his phone and now she and Peter aren't answering theirs, and she responded to one of Tony's texts but she didn't say if Peter was there or not, so that doesn't help Wade."

"Damn. She is cold."

"She's a genius."

"True, true. Okay. Cool. Anything else happening?"

"Ah..." Clint paused to think for a moment and clicked his tongue. "No, I think that's all. Where's Bucky?"

"Upstairs somewhere. I think he's probably sleeping or doing secret spy shit like Nat does, I dunno."

(Bucky was actually just playing Angry Birds in a corner with the lights off.)

"Yeah, he seems like the type. Hopefully he's not planning to kill us."

"Would you knock that shit off? You know he's not gonna kill us. That's just mean. You're supposed to be nice to him."

"What is this, kindergarten? I was joking. Jesus. Sorry I made a crack about your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend. You know, I hate it that everybody in this tower thinks they can just point two people together and make them a couple. I don't know him that well. He's cute, and he's nice, and I wish you would stop being so low key rude to him, but he isn't my boyfriend. Steve and Tony had years of that love-hate sexual undertone shit going for them, but y'all can't just make your lame ass matchmaking tactics work on people who are actually functional humans."

"Damn, son! You just dragged me! Shit!" Clint walked back into the living room. "Guys, Sam just fucking owned my ass in there. It was wild. He totally wrecked me."

"Clint, you said we were keeping our affair a secret," Sam joked, ruffling Clint's hair as he walked past and flopping into his seat from earlier.

"Your what?" Thor looked up angrily.

"We were joking, Thor! Please don't hurt me!" Clint squealed, hopping onto Bruce's lap. Bruce grunted at the sudden unexpected weight.

"You just wanted an excuse to do that," Bruce sighed. Clint grinned and kissed him on the cheek.

"Can someone please, for the love of God..." Tony walked into the room from the terrace, gesturing behind him at Wade. He was sobbing into a distressed looking Steve. "Please find Peter?"