The Bad boy and the Broken Girl *On Hold*

A day full of emotions...

Ashton's pov.
It had been a couple of days since i had my breakdown. A couple of days since i saw a new side of Xavier. He had said that he thought we where more than friends. Honestly nothing had changed. I felt like he spoke those words just because he pitied me.

He had gone back to his normal ways. It felt like i didn't even know him anymore. He had gone back to being cold. Ignoring me, he doesn't even talk to me anymore. Jason was out a lot. At work, and the party's. So basically my only company was the dog.

I felt major depressed. Everyday dragged on. My eyes have had enough of crying. My body was in pain from when i had harmed myself. I didn't have the energy to go on. Everyday i felt like i was dying a little more. It was a true fact that i indeed hated myself, but so did everyone else. I spent all day watching youtube, catching up with t.v shows, and reading.

Xavier was out most of the time. I had no idea where, but then again it's none of my business. When he is at home he would be up in his room. I wondered about him constantly.

It was the day of my Aunties funeral. I was surprised when i got the call from my uncle. My heart hurt today and i wish i had someone for support. Annie was going on a date with Luke today. These days all she ever talks about is Luke. Whenever i'm with her i'm basically a third wheel.

I put on a black dress. I wanted to dress nice today. Auntie always loved it when i wore dresses. I wore the ring i took from her room. While i was putting on my black converses i thought about my Auntie, she should never had passed away. I hate myself for letting it happen to her. I went to the mirror and adjusted my hair. I actually made the effort to straighten it. Leaving it hanging loose i went downstairs.

Jason was in the kitchen ready for work. "How do i look?". I asked Jason. I wanted to look perfect for my Auntie.

"You look great, your Auntie would be proud of you". My eyes stung as tears fell. Crying had became a daily thing for me. Jason came and gave me a hug. My sobbing didn't stop. I wanted things back to normal. I didn't ask for any of this drama.

I went to the car. Jason was dropping me of. My heart was feeling so heavy and i couldn't control my tears. My uncle told me over the phone i would have to give a speech. I didn't write one however. I wanted it to be unscripted. I want everything i say to be thought of on the spot. It was Brody who was supposed to be making the speech, but he said he didn't do public speaking.

I had a bouquet of white roses in my hand. They where always her fave. I placed them on top of her casket. I was staring at it. It was hard to believe my Auntie was in there. My mind did everything to try and forget that but i couldn't. No matter how hard i tried. My family where sending me dirty looks. I knew just by looking at them that i wasn't welcome.

My head turned to face the other way. I finally caught a glimpse of my uncle. He looked heart broken. Why wouldn't he. After all he did love my Auntie. He had a stubble growing. Like he hadn't shaved for weeks. His eyes where small and bloodshot. He looked worse than me. I slowly approached him. As i came into his view i could see he was glaring at me. I gulped. I had to approach him at one point or another, might as well get it done and over with now. He looked torn and i guess it didn't help him to know that i was here. Brody was in the corner with a few of my cousins. Cousins who hated me. 

"Are you okay uncle?". Stupid question i know. What else was i supposed to say though. He turned to face me and his face held rage. 

"Your speech is in 5 minutes, after that you can get out my sight". I nodded my head disappointed. I was hoping he would have calmed down by now. That he wouldn't be so angry. Then again he had a right to be mad, i mean it was my fault his wife passed. I looked around wondering what i was supposed to do. I felt awkward and different, like i wasn't even apart of the family.