Maybe It Was A Song

twenty-six

Zayns point of View:

I fucked up so bad by bringing Madi the other night. If she had told me earlier... If I had known I never would have done that. I'm so fucking stupid.

It's been two days since then, and I'm trying to give Madi some distance.

She's probably disgusted in me.

I'm into the things that ripped get family apart and almost got her baby brother killed. I'd be disgusted if it was the other way around.

I've convinced myself its over, that she wants absolutely nothing to do with me. I had text her when I got home that night, telling her I was sorry again, and that she should try and get some sleep, and call if she needs anything. She had replied 'thank you for helping me, night x'

Since then I had sent the classic 'good morning beautiful x' and 'sweet dreams, I hope you have a good sleep, let me know if you need anything. I'm sorry' texts to her at the appropriate times, with no replies.

She hates me. The one person in my life that doesn't look at me like a complete fuck up now thinks I'm a complete fuck up.

Good going, dickface.

My real life interactions with me since then have been basically non-exestant. When I pass her in the hall, I wat h her closely trying to get any sign of affection from her. I crave it. I feel like the fuck up I am without her.

See, since I meet her, I haven't felt like such an arsehole. I mean, of someone like Madi cares about me, I must be doing something right. But now she doesn't care.

She doesn't even glance up as I walk past, even when I talk louder to Niall next to me so she is sure to know its me. She doesn't look, in fact she turns away, and Niall just tells me to shut up.

In the cafeteria at lunch,  I watch her from our table, pushing my food around the tray with a fork. I watch as she stumbles because she's not paying attention, and her try of food gos everywhere.

Before I can even think, I'm on my feet to help her, but another boy gets there before I can. Who is he? Why is he talking to her? Everyone knows by now she's mine.

I stand across the room, probably looking like the lost idiot I am, watching her. The way her eyes nervously dart to the boy, like she did to me, or still does when I scare her sometimes. The tight 'thank you' smile she gives him. He better turn around so I can see his face. I'll teach him not to go after my girl.

I'm a bit shocked when the faceless boy nods in the direction of my table, and the Madi looks up towards it. She's seen me. Standing here looking stupid as people weave around me. I give her a little smile and she quickly looks away, thanking the boy again then standing up to go.

The boy stands up, and I'm about to go beat his arse until I realise it's Liam. He walks to me and chuckles softly, patting my chest to break me out of my trance. "She says sorry" he says, giving me a sad smile.

My next encounter with her was after school today. It was raining and I knew her crap heap of a car was with Logan today because he had some kind of practice after school. I almost walk up to her three times, but I keep chickening out, and I was about to a forth until she turns to see me.

"Do you want a ride home? It's raining."

Obviously it's raining, fuckface. She can see that. I'm such an idiot.

"No thank you. I'm good" she says softly, not even meeting my eye.

"You're not going to walk in the rain Mads" I say, frowning a bit. That's not happening.