A Single Moment Of Sincerity [SOMEONE SOMEWHERE SEQUEL]

Still I'm Not Forgiving You

The morning was cool and grey as I woke alone on the comfortable, metal double bed indifferent to every morning before hand for several months previous. The clouds lay low in the sky, unmoving, even they were to tired for any large movement at 7 in the morning. Outside the wind was whipping the trees gently almost caringly even though we all knew that in the next few hours it would pick up, along with the rain that had already speckle-stained my window that looked out upon one of the quieter areas of London. That being said it was still fairly grimy and a presence of danger hung around the inhabited street like treacle to the spoon. No matter how hard people tried to make our neighbourhood better it was like a stain from last nights curry that wouldn't ever fade away.

My body lay on the bed with my mind at ease. With the chill already lingering in the air it was nearly an impossible feat though I knew I had to fight the urge to stay here. My mum (if she counts as one that is) had decided that now would be the time she needed to talk to me. Whatever it was it must have been serious; considering the band visited me whilst I was in hospital, and Ben bless him, only ever left my side for toilet and food. And my mum... She never made contact once in the two weeks I stayed there hooked up to machines after my coma. Shows how much she cares I guess.

To make it even worse I was put in hospital by my abusive ex boyfriend and Ben, who was my boyfriend then now fiancé, had to leave on tour the day after I was released. That was four months ago.

As of yet mum did not know that Ben and I were engaged, nor that he went on tour and left me alone. She didn't know and I was hoping to keep it like that. She knew Ben very well and was fond of him, but she has a way of changing her mind quickly and I was hoping to not give her ammunition against me, well no more than what she must have for her sudden visit.

Slowly I peeled myself from my loving bed and made my way to the wardrobe. It used to be half mine half Bens but now he left my clothes have slowly grown dominant and progressively snatched more closet space. I didn't want to wear anything fancy, after all it was only mum, so I chose something from my main category of clothes and got into a pair of ripped jeans and a band tank. Hell I lived in this stuff. After attacking my auburn hair with a brush and managing to tame the majority of the hideous knots I deemed myself decent and walked away from the mirror.

My feet pattered on the spongey carpet as I made my way down the stylish stairs, stopping in the kitchen I say at the table and once again thought of Ben. Of how much I was missing him, how I couldn't wait for the next 2 months to go and he will return. Some darker thoughts made themes elves present in my mind, and no matter how hard I tried to push them away part of me realised they could be right. Ben had been known as a player for a long time. I grew up with him and I know that he changed but with him away of so long I was worried those temptation would be coming back. God I hoped they didn't.

I snapped back into reality as the vibration of my phone buzzing shook through the table. Letting my eyes drop onto the lit display screen I saw it was Mum. Saying she was on her way. Turning in my seat I leaned over and popped bread in the toaster, something told me I'd need the strength for her arrival. The seconds ticked by and the toast shot out o the machine, placing them on the plate I'm smeared butter over the toast with extreme accuracy before biting into the soft slightly crunchy and melty bread breakfast. If I was fussy with any type of food it was toast. I savoured the taste as I made myself a cup of tea. Okay tea is a British thing but I didn't drink it for being British I did because I loved it.

About 10 minutes and another Ben day dream later the door bell went off and I jumped to my feet in surprise. I hadn't expected her to arrive so quickly but I couldn't complain. Carefully I made my way to the front door, my heart racing as I tried to work out what was so important for her to talk about.

Tentatively I opened the door, my mother in the doorway with an artificial smile on her face. "Melissa darling, how nice it is to see you," she spoke, her kindness forged through her clenched teeth. "I've been meaning to talk to you for a while know honey. So, Melissa darling, I wanted to tell you I found someone. I know. So pleased for me right. And he isn't like your slime ball dad you take after." I wanted to cut her off. My dad died when I was 8, he was a soldier and he lost his life serving our country.

I wanted to shout at her. How could she call him a slime ball! He died protecting us! The whole damn country! But he's a slime ball because she got stuck with me. I didn't though I just pursed my lips.

"Anyway, Melissa sweety, I'm sure you love to know I'm going to be moving in with him. Already happy for me. Yes yes. Well I'm sure you'd be happier to know we are moving to Los Angels. So I can escape you for good then." She closed her painted lips her eyes happy for herself whilst I watched her with my lips quivering trying to work out what she had just said.

"M..mum." I stuttered. "Why are you doing this? Why do you hate me so much also?" I asked. Maybe this would e the last chance I ever got to find out.

"Ha don't be so big headed I'm not doing this for your benefit, it's not for you at all. Calm down. I'm doing it because my new partner will treat me better than Ben is treating you and better than your dad ever could have been. That's a point where is Ben anyway. I want to wish him luck on putting up with you for the unseeable future." Her voice still trying to act posh although we both knew how much she wanted to scream there and then.

"He.. He is on tour." I spoke evenly yet sad too.

"Aha poor bastard. Only lived with you a month or so and you already drove him out of the house. He won't ever return if he knows what's best for him. He can just give you back to Dom, he'll treat you with every torture you deserve." She spat at me before turning around and walking out of the door.

"Mum! Mum wait!" I screamed suddenly feeling helpless and all alone in the cruel city. My eyes were streaming with the tears fuelled by the pain I harboured for years, by the realisation that mum will never change. I never have up on her. But now she has given up on me. I slammed the door in frustration and fell back against the wall slowly sinking the floor as I drowned in my tears that refused to cease flow. I pushed my head back, hitting on the wall hoping it would relieve me of hurt and in some ways it did. I repeated the act again and again before slumping to my side feeling totally useless.

My phone, which I had slipped into my pocket on the way to the door, vibrated again and for a second my heart stopped, thinking maybe mum was going to apologise for her wrongs. I pulled it out enthusiastically and scrutinised the name on the screen. At first I was angry it wasn't mum but after realising it was Ben all the anger faded away, any rage inside disappeared into oblivion.

I raised my phone to my ear and listened to Ben's calming voice.

"Hello darling, I just want to talk to you about something. It's really important and really good news. Are you seated?"