We spent the rest of Jimin's birthday in bed watching Netflix as planned. I apologized to him for being sick and for that fact that he could only spend the day with me. He told me to shut up and go to sleep. So I did.
The only thing that didn't happen as planned was the pizza-- which I was okay with since I didn't have a huge appetite due to my fever.
My fever had actually gone down the next morning, but I still didn't feel perfectly back to normal so Jimin insisted that still I didn't go to school Tuesday either. Even though I disagreed with him, I ended up staying home anyways because I didn't want to argue with him. I did enjoy all the makeup work I had to do the following day, note the sarcasm.
I wished it was summer so that I wouldn't have to worry about school and so that I could put all my focus on Jimin's problem. But I couldn't since I had all the homework and going to school took up half the day and I was always completely tired when I got home. Jimin always told me to just sleep and that we could continue the search for his body the next day. But the next day kept turning into the day after that, and that day into the day after that one and so on. This is not what I wanted but I could never refuse Jimin's pleas for me to put my needs first before his own. He always wanted to make me happy but he didn't realize that I was trying to do the same for him. I agreed to find his body and I'm going to stick with him all the way through till the end.
I also hadn't been quite so touchy with Jimin these past few days. I needed to give myself space because I felt like if I had continued what I was doing I would be completely attached to him and I don't want to do that to myself. It's not that I didn't want to like him anymore, but this was more for myself; for self control since it was all going so fast. In order to do so, I placed a no touching Jimin rule. No kissing, no holding hands, no cuddling when we go to sleep. I hadn't told Jimin any of this and I wondered if it would hurt him more that I had stopped or if I told him why I stopped. So I just stopped. He would occasionally reach for my hand ever so gently and I would act like I didn't notice and quickly pull my hand away. I think he caught on by the end of the week.
I took Jimin to his house and he got more clothes and watched his mom and dad for a bit before deciding to leave. He seemed to be conflicted the whole time we were there and I felt sorry for him. He must miss them.
Jimin told me about the flashback he had about going to the "bad parts of town." So we went Saturday morning to see if he remembered anything. No luck.
We hung out with my friends a couple of times after school and I even talked to Jungkook and Taehyung in school regularly on a day to day basis. They turned out to be pretty cool people of course and started sitting with us at lunch, since Hoseok invited them hoping to get a scoop on Jimin. Jimin was happy to be close to his friends.
It was sad though, when we would have a conversation and Jimin would speak, responding to whatever someone else had said only to receive no reply in return. His smile usually faded after an incident like that and he would stay quiet and hold a blank stare for the rest of the time, not paying attention to anything and completely zoning out. If worried me but I knew it was his way with coping with the reality of the situation.
"I'm tired of being like this..." He had said to me when we came home from searching one afternoon.
"I know... And I'm sorry you have to go through it." I took his hand in mine after not touching him for what seemed like forever. He smiled in response at our hands, swinging them a little as we walked home.
"We will find your body, I promise."
"I know, you've told me that a billion times already."
"Yeah? Well I mean it."
The very next day I got a call from Jimin's mother saying that the police had a lead on Jimin's whereabouts. The leads were in the "bad part of town." She stated it exactly like Jimin had. I could tell she was holding back her tears when she told me that they didn't know if he was alive or not.
Jimin and I decided to go check the place out again the next morning.
Still nothing. Nothing made sense to Jimin. He almost had a mental breakdown in the middle of the street from all the stress it was causing him. I wanted to hug him but I refrained myself from doing so.
"Maybe we should come at night. After all, you were out here at that time and things are always seen from new perspectives at different times of the day." I suggested. It was Sunday, precisely three weeks since Jimin had woken up as a ghost-- or whatever he was.
"But it's dangerous at night."
"That's probably how you got yourself killed." I frowned.
"That's not funny."
"I wasn't trying to joke."
I knew that Jimin was frustrated with no results but, the police were on to something in this area as well. That means that his dead (or maybe even alive) body just had to be there somewhere.
"We'll come back here at night." I decide.
"No, you can't come out here by yourself." Jimin shook his head. We were currently walking back home after searching through the streets for a solid three hours.
"It wasn't an option. Plus, I won't be alone. You're with me remember?"
"But not physically. Others will see you alone and won't see me and they'll take advantage of the opportunity."
"That's why you're going to protect me, right?" I smile. Jimin sighed heavily and fidgeted
with his fingers a bit.
"You could be like my invisible superhero... Or something. We can call you Carrot Head."