Chapter 36

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Well I mean
Hey
How are you hanging in there

Who's your fav in the story so far?

Any predictions of what's to come next?

^i wanna hear what you have to say

_________________________

Jimin's P.O.V.

"Oh fuck me." I heard Yoongi mutter as soon as his alarm went off obnoxiously loud. My eyes fluttered open and I leaned over the edge of the bed to look on the floor. My head hovered right above his.

"Wake up Yoongi, school time." I smiled and thanked the spirit-leaving-body gods that they gave me the ability to have good breath 24/7.

Yoongi groaned in response. I brushed my lips against his softly and he opened his eyes and scrunched up his nose and turned his head to the side.

"Get up." I said and bring myself back fully onto the bed.

"I really don't want to, can I please stay home?"

"You've stayed home so many times in the past few weeks. C'mon now." I rolled my eyes and watched as his eyes slowly started to shut again. "Yoongi!"

"Ugh, be quiet please."

"This is your last warning."

"No please don't-"

"Ten, nine, eight, seve-"

"I hate you." He grumbled before starting to shift. If he hadn't gotten up I would've jumped on top of him and annoyed him, the usual routine for when he didn't want to get up.

"I hate you." I mocked him in the voice I created for him whenever I did so.

"I don't sound like that." He was sitting up now, glaring at me.

"I don't sound like that."

"You're so childish." He rolled his eyes and got up, stumbling to his drawers to pick out something to wear.

When he left I got out of bed quickly and grabbed his laptop, bringing it back to bed with me. I went straight to YouTube and played my playlist.

I hummed to myself when lyrics I didn't know came and sang softly when lyrics I did know came on. I was looking through the comments of each video, not really knowing what else to do.

I didn't notice Yoongi leaning against the doorway watching me with my favorite smile on his face.

I immediately paused the song and stopped singing.

His smile turned into a pout.

"Why won't you sing for me?"

"You already know why, I was embarrassed when I fell on stage an-"

"The real reason?"

I sighed. He caught me.

"My vocal coach told me I sucked."

"What?"

"I couldn't hit a higher note sometime after I fell off the stage and she blew up, told me I could never make a career out of it when she knew singing was what I wanted to do. She told me that I couldn't even sing 'decently' and that I sounded like nails scratching against a chalk board. Also, she told me I should never sing again because those who heard me would never want to talk to me again." I bit my lip when I was done speaking and looked down, fidgeting with my fingers a bit.

"What the hell kind of coach is that, huh?!" He spat out, I could tell he was angry by the tone of his voice. "Who would say things like that to a child? What is wrong with h-"

"It's okay now, Yoongi. That's in the past."

"No it's not okay, it's shit like that that can effect a child, you know? Shit like that could've resulted and developed in you having social anxiety Jimin." I glanced up at him to see him shaking his head. He stood up straight and made his way to me, sitting next to me.

"Having to cover up something you love to do? That's stupid. That's really stupid. Is there anything else like this that happened around this time?"

"Well..." I thought about it. There was. I was always being put down. Whether it be being compared to other students or other family members, being verbally bullied after falling on stage for a long time, the death of a close family member, all of it added up to why I eventually just kept to myself.

Yoongi sighed and kissed my cheek before standing up again.

"I've got to go now. I assume you're not coming today since you seem so comfortable in my bed." He winked before continuing. "You're usually ready before I am. When I get back you can tell me all the reasons why. I want to hear it all. I want to know everything I don't already know, which is a lot of things, I'm sure. I'm sorry for pressuring you. I didn't know it was like that, I was only thinking of myself."

I couldn't help but smile and nod, waving at him and watching him leave, closing the door behind him. I heard the front door open and shut just moments after.

"I hope he grabbed something to eat for breakfast." I said to myself.

I started to wonder if there was anything Yoongi was hiding.

Any hidden talents, sad backstories, just anything in general that I wouldn't know about.

Such as, why his parents are the way they are.

He hasn't told me anything about it, and I was starting to wonder if it had always been like this from the beginning for him.

But I knew that couldn't be the case. I saw how much the relationship with his parents affected him.

He'd say things like, "Are they home yet- oh wait, of course not." and, "They're not home, as usual."

If it had been since the beginning he wouldn't say things like that.

Whatever happened, I just hoped it wasn't something too bad and that maybe I could possibly fix it.

But deep down, I knew something.

Something I was keeping from Yoongi.

Something I've known since I saw my body and packed it away in boxes in the back of my mind.

His smile was just too big, too happy, I couldn't bring myself to tell him.

I wouldn't tell him.

I'd keep it a secret for the rest of my entire life if I could.

I wouldn't tell him because I'm really in love with him, and I don't want to see him hurt.

I know it's selfish. I know this is possibly the worst idea. I know I should tell him, I really should.

But I won't.

"For as long as possible." I whispered to myself.

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