Stally_ Life Is Hard

Bad days

Ally

I wake up to Frank moving next to me on the bed. I brush him off and realize that he should be getting up by now to leave. I am tired of worrying about him so I just go back to sleep again.
When I wake up I don't want to move. Frank is not here so I can just stay in the bed all day.
I start watching a movie and eating some cereal when I remember that I have to go to the music studio. I don't feel like getting up though. I decided to text my best friend.
"Hey babe how are you?" I texted her.
"Hi, I am fine, what about you?"
"Sometimes I really hate myself and I don't know what to do"
"Well, I don't know what's going on but I know you and whatever it is I know you need to move your ass and do it!" She always got pretty mad when I was depressing and she always notices.
She ended up calling me and yelling that I needed to get up and change my life. We were always fighting but not mad at each other, we just care a lot about each other.
"I love you babe, thank you. I miss you a lot" I texted her felling a tear run down my face.
"I love you too, everything will be fine, just believe in yourself ."
I finally got up and got dressed, I did my make up and ran out the door.
Turns out they said I wasn't prepared enough to go there and that I shouldn't be starting to make music if I didn't have enough bases... I liked the fact that I at least went there and they gave me some tips about the business which was really helpful. But still I was sad as fuck because I really thought I was gonna work there and gain some experience.
I walked back home, smoking more than I should like usual. I decided to get some beers on the way back and I started drinking.
When I was drunk I felt like things didn't matter that much and I could be happier. I don't want to live like this forever but as a back up plan it seems awesome.
I decide to take a piece of paper and draw. I still like to draw and it's amazing that anyone can express feelings through any type of art.

The same girl invaded my mind again but she seems to be more distant every time.
I wake up. Wait, what was I thinking about? I know there was an elevator evolved but what happened? I know I have been having weird dreams and I always wake up happy which confuses me a lot! I know I sometimes think about this girl and she seems familiar but I don't know if this has anything to do with my dreams lately.
Some days I feel so confused with my life that I don't know what do to at all. If I should get up, or read a book, or take a shower or even eat. I need to start moving and not letting my life run away from me. I really need to.

HI, THANK YOU FOR READING I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
HAVE A GREAT DAY! :)

KAT