Stally_ Life Is Hard

Decisions

Ally

I've been studying in this University for a couple of months now and I feel so bad every day I don't even know what to do with my life. I am gonna be back at my parents house soon for Christmas and hopefully I'll feel better.

(A month later)

I've been at my parents house for two weeks now and it's almost time to get back.
It has been so good to be here...I wasn't expecting that, I thought I hadn't missed home this much.
I don't want to go back.
I am not learning anything, I am not having fun, I spend more time depressed than happy. This is not the life I want to live.
I decide to call my best friend Danny and chat a bit, it is really hard to be away from him most year, it's hard to be away from everyone! I decide to call him.
"Hey Danny?"
"Hey Ally, how are you? You are almost going back right? I am gonna miss you so much!"
"Yeah, I am leaving in a couple of days." I said sadly. "Danny I really need you, I am so confused. What should I do? I've always wanted to be a musician, why did I even apply for this course?" I was already crying.
"Calm down Ally, don't cry. What is going on?"
"What am I doing with my life Dan? Nothing!! I hate to live at that place, I really do!"
"Well than don't go back! You don't have to really"
He always knew what to say to make me feel better and as usual we talked for hours and I eventually made a decision and that made me much happier.

(Back in LA)

I needed to tel Frank I was quitting University and everything about my plans. I was tired of doing what I was supposed to instead of what I actually wanted.
I had never quieted anything this big just like that. But I felt like my future wasn't on that tiny town. I needed an adventure and as scared as I was, I knew I had to do it.
I started looking for a job but it was harder then I thought it would be. I was basically in this awful period in my life where I wasn't studying anymore but I wasn't working either and that felt really bad. I felt useless.
I should probably do something with my life other than eat and watch youtube.
"Maybe I should start a youtube channel!" I said out loud. At least while I have to stay here because of the contract of the room. It won't probably get any subscribers but at least I'll do something with my day.
This is not a great decision for my future life but I need the courage to get up and walk by myself and some times that's really hard. When I think about the happy day I had beside HER and all the great moments we've shared it's hard to keep my head up and go on, but I'll keep trying.