Supernatural imagines

Sketchy feelings

Imagine drawing Dean secretly because your in love with him.

You've always loved drawing, your very good at it, but you didn't believe it yourself,  so you kept it to yourself , never really showing off your work.  Whenever Dean and Sam were out on a case or a hunt, or just a grocery run. You would stay home in the library and sketch in your sketch book about anything. But it was more of a fantasy book, drawings and dreams of what your deepest desires are. Most of them including Dean, when he wasn't watching you you would draw him doing the most random things. Reading, when he fell asleep on the table and his face was smooshed against the book. Or when he smiles so bright all you saw was teeth. When he fell asleep on the couch. Whatever he did made the perfect portrait. 

You tried to tell him through hints, you were very shy, so you didn't feel comfortable telling him straight up. You kinda thought that giving him subtle hint when the change was giving, you could tell if he felt the same way before you admitted anything. If he fell asleep before his head hit the pillow, you would wrap him up in a blanket, you would jokingly tell him funny love quotes that you " found on the Internet" find any excuse for a hug.  Your love for him just grew and grew until you couldn't hide it anymore. He was so blind that he would never understand the hints. He would just chuckle or laugh it off.
You finally got up the courage to tell him so you wandered out into the library hoping he was alone because Sam being in the room would be awkward. But before you had the chance Dean grabs his keys and looked at you with a smile. The last chance you got was with a case just you and Dean, a haunted apartment room. Sam was out so Dean asked you to come with him. The owner thought you were a good couple and at first he went along with it. Which we did as an excuse to get in without being noticed. He wraps his arms around you smiling in front of the owner. You savoured the moment because it was one of your desires. As soon as the owner let you look around he wandered off. You inspect the walls and windows and Dean disappears into a bedroom looking for any cursed objects or a reason for the haunting with the ..... In his hands. You hear him call Sam from the other room. You wanted to act busy so you stayed out of the room but the walls were thin and you could still hear him.
" hey sammy, have you got anything yet?"
"Mumbling thought the line"
" oh,I'm still looking, hey you know the only way they would trust us is if we pretend to be a couple" Dean chuckles jokingly before Sam talks again but you can make out what he's saying.
" I know right, never doing that again, hehe, it felt weird" he scoffed. Your face heats up as tears fill your eyes. Dean hated the idea of being with you, he didn't feel the same way, he never would. You hear him hang up and head back out so you wipe your face quickly with your sleeve before sniffling and rush to the other side of the apartment so it looked like you didn't hear it, and pretended to look busy. Luckily you found a weird symbol carved into a wooden beam that no one would of picked up. So you drew the symbol down and showed Dean.
" hey, never seen this before, I'm going to go home and research it ok?" You struggle to sound normal as you felt a lump in your throat.
" ok let's go" he puts the EMF detector away before heading to the door.
The whole ride home you replay his words over and over in your head. You look away from him to stop your heart from shattering into a million pieces.

When you get back to the bunker, Dean grabs the picture off you before sitting down at the library table and opening his laptop. You ran to your room before closing the door and angrily pulling out your journal. Angry at yourself for not being good enough. And mostly the fact that your worthless little heart could of chooses anyone else, but no! It had to be Dean FUCKING Winchester. Tears spring from your eyes as your face heats up and you start tearing up the pages out of your book. You grip your pencil tightly as you scribble on one of your favourite drawings.  As you unleash your tears your face feels like it's on fire. Tears fall down your face as you throw your journal at a wall. It hits your desk and fall down the side of your bedside table. You sit there sniffling and gasping for breath as you feel trapped. You just want to get out of there, get some space to figure things out. You could stop your self from crying so you sprinted out the door leaving Sam and Dean looking worried at why you were crying. The last thing you heard was the echo of Dean's stupid voice. As you run far away as you could without passing out you sit on your knees before screaming out loud letting your feelings and anger out. You kept screaming u till there was nothing left but heavy breathing and sore throat. Your eyes still blurry you got to your feet and started running again. You thought you could never go back now, every time Dean looked at you, you would burst again and again. But unfortunately you were right. You never made it back to the bunker as the last thing you saw through your glassy eyes were two bright headlights and the sound of a horn before darkness took over.

Dean was sitting at the table with your drawing next to his laptop. Sam hears his phone and answered it sleepily Dean was just observing his face as it went from calm and rested to horror and disbelief. His face dropped as his puppy face took over. His eyes filled with tears as he struggled to speak. As he looses his breath his hand shakes before dropping the phone and repeatedly saying
"No,no,no" as tears slid down his face Dean rushed to his aid in concern.
" sammy, what!?" His face covered in worry for his little brother. Sam turns to Dean before opening his mouth
" it's (y/n) ,Dean , .....she's.........she's... Dead!" Sam erupts into tears. Deans face automatically dropped before opt sets in.
" no.no.no........." Dean's legs collapse and he hits the floor dropping his head. Sam followed until they both collapsed on the floor sobbing until there was nothing left.

Carrying your body from your bed after they snuck it out from the morgue was extremely hard for Sam. Your lifeless body in his arms was his nightmare. Dean was outside preparing your proper hunter burial felling responsible for your death he couldn't face your face. It was killing him. As Sam stood over your cold corpse with tears still in his eyes he bends down sliding his hands under your back and gripping you gently. As he turned his face away in discomfort he notices a brown book. He places you back down and walks over to the table and bends down picking it up.
He opens the first page

My dream journal
Where all my dreams can come true.

Sam's face drops as he turns to the first page. He smiled as it was a drawing of when the three of them first met. The drawing took up the entire page, very detailed and accurate to the clothing details. Sam smiles as a tear falls down his cheek. He turns the page to see another good drawing of Dean asleep on the couch, he even remembered the night it was from, New Years. The drawing next to it was another drawing of Dean kissing her cheek when he was drunk. Sam was now sobbing as he closed the book placing it on the table and grabbing your body again this time actually picking you up and carrying you out the door. Everything went in slow motion as your carried up the hallway for the last time. Tear that weren't your own hitting your chest as Sam tried desperately to keep it together. For your sake.

As the flames rose into the sky Dean and Sam stood next to each other tears staining their cheeks saying their last goodbyes. You were finally at peace.

Dean wasn't coping well so his only form of comfort and relief came out of a scotch bottle. Sitting in your room because your smell calmed him down. He also notices the journal on your dresser and picks it up cautiously. As he opens the book a few pages fall to the floor. He stares down at them before his face is overcome with innocence and a small smile. A photo of New Year's Eve with a love heart surrounding him and you. On the first page there was a drawing of Dean asleep on the couch after he passed out from that drinking comp with Kevin. Dean smiles as he touches the picture. He picks up another one.
Drawing of Sam and Dean eating and drinking when Sam got his soul back. Dean sighs as he started looking through the journal
Love quotes that she rote for him. Full book of drawings all including him. Little notes about how much she loved him.by the last page Dean was in tears. He hated himself for what a dick he was. The fact he was soo stupid and blind that he didn't even see love that was right in front of him. The last page folded out it was a life like sketch in full detail of Dean looking away slightly sad with a smaller sketch of you looking sad in the middle of the page there was a glowing red heart that was torn in the centre. It said underneath
To blind to find love already close to his heart!
But that's not what broke Dean, in the corner of the page was a tear stain. Not his own. Dean realised now why you were always around him, so caring , helpful and would do anything for him. And in truth he would do the same thing for you because what you never knew was he felt the same way. Too scared to admit it because everyone he loved has been killed. Now he realised that even not telling you got you killed. He runs to his room and unlocks a special chest under his bed. He pulls out a small box and carries it out to your gravestone even though you weren't there. Dean sits at your grave placing the box down with your journal. He opens the box and pulls out some photos. Of you.
" I never got the chance to say how I feel. I was too afraid to open up in a fear of being hurt, in a fear of loosing you like I have everyone else that I consider family, but not telling you not only hurt me but now I realise you as well. And me not having the balls to admit it also got you killed. So for that I'm sorry, so please if you can hear me, if your up there looking over me, I would happily give my life for you to be here again. But I can't, and for that il never forgive myself. So just hear me out. Just one thing I want to say...." Dean stands at the grave with his hand on the stone. A tear falls to the dirt as he closes his eyes.
" I love you".