⚠ SPOILERS FOR TFA FOLLOW ⚠
Ben Solo: My dad is so mean! He won't let me go hang out with Hux at Hot Topic!!!!
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Han Solo: Ben, that store creeps me put so no.
Ben Solo: But dad! It's not that bad!
Han Solo: Your mother and I said no, so no.
Ben Solo: Vader would've let me!
Han Solo: -_- He wouldn't even care
Ben Solo: YES HE WOULD
Han Solo: You didn't even know him
Ben Solo: I DID. THROUGH THE FORCE.
Han Solo: Ok, whatever. He wasn't that great of a guy.
Ben Solo: YOU SHUT UP. DON'T SAY SUCH THINGS ABOUT HIM.
Han Solo: He froze me in Carbonite! I have the right to say anything I want about him.
Ben Solo: You probaly deserved it...
Han Solo: Your grounded, for ever.
Han Solo: I hear that lightsaber...
Han Solo: FOR THE LAST TIME WE ARE NOT BUYING YOU NEW WALLS. IF YOU SLASH THEM UP YOU HAVE TO KEEP THEM.
Ben Solo: UGH YOU GUY'S ARE THE WORST.
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Luke Skywalker updated his status: I live the lonely life. Alone, all by myself. No one at my side, just me.
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Rey: What's the point of all this?
Luke Skywalker: Oh I was making fun if my Nephew Ben Solo
Rey: HAH XD
Ben Solo: You see. This is why I became Kylo Ren... This is why Darth Vader will return and train me.
Luke Skywalker: Kid. I burnt my father. He isn't coming back.
Ben Solo: I have his ashes in my room.
Rey: Creep.
General Hux: No their acctually pretty cool.
Luke Skywalker: Y'all freaky.
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Kylo Ren updated his status: Supreme Leader Snoke suggested that I change my Facebook name so I can let go of my old life.
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General Hux: Wow, for a minute I expected you go change it to Vader or something like that.
Kylo Ren: Darth Vader was taken...
Anakin Skywalker: Listen kid. I got a whole lot to say, and I don't get much data coverage on this force ghost phone so I'll keep it short. YOU KRIFFING BANTHA FODDER STOP TRYING GO BE ME. I MADE A HUGGEEEEEE MISTAKE AND SO ARE YOU. GO HELP THE REBELS OR SOMETHING, IDK JUST DON'T DO THIS. AND ALSO STOP EUINING THE FAMILY NAME, WE DON'T NEED SOME CRAZY EMO TEMPERAMENTAL TEEN DESTROYING OUR NAME.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You see this is why I didn't have kids, or grandkids.
Anakin Skywalker: Yeah. This is why...
Kylo Ren: Ok, so you want me to continue on with what you started?
Anakin Skywalker: NO.
Kylo Ren: Wait. Your not even Vader, just some weird young guy with good hair.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Totally unrelated but how did you get your force ghost to look young? You died 20 something years later, you should be old like me.
Anakin Skywalker: Special editions editing.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Ohhhhhhh
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