She gulped and met his eyes.
"I am." She whispered firmly. He turned away from her abruptly. She took a deep shaky breath and exorcized the fear freezing her chest.
"What right do you have to stop me?" He asked, not looking at her.
"I love you." She answered immediately. He whisked around to face her,
"No! You kissed somebody else!" He screamed.
"So? So did you! I forgave you for that!" She yelled back.
"That was different." He waved her off.
"How was that any different?" She scoffed.
"There wasn't any possibility that I loved her. This, you could've. You could." He stammered. He took a deep breath, "You could love him. That's why it's different. You could keep doing it. You two are close enough." He looked away from her.
"Look at me." She demanded. He didn't move.
"Look at me." She demanded again. He still didn't move.
"Are you really that mad at me?" She murmured. He did nothing.
"Fine." She sighed, "I love you Suga. I don't love him. I never did. I love you. Please, believe that." She pleaded desperately. Finally he looked at her. He looked at her with piercing, cold eyes.
"If you loved me, you wouldn't have kissed him."
She flinched at his words.
"Why'd you do it?" He asked.
"I don't know." She murmured shamefully.
"That's not an answer!" He screamed.
"You weren't there! I felt like you didn't love me anymore! It felt like you were slipping away from me! I was lonely, and sad! I wasn't thinking! I was stupid!" She spat out an answer.
"Bullshit." He sneered.
"What do you want me to say? You were gone. I was upset and I was being dramatic. I missed you, it felt like no one cared. But he cared, and I just wasn't thinking." She felt tears come to her eyes.
"So it's all my fault now, because I was gone?" He scoffed.
"That's not what I said." She shook her head.
"That's what you meant!" He yelled.
"It's not what I meant! You asked why and that's why!" She screeched.
"Fuck you!" He screamed.
"You wish." She sneered. His eyes widened and he clenched his fists in anger. He looked down at the floor, his face hooded and dark.
"I wouldn't even if I could."
The words felt like daggers. She grimaced and looked away. They said nothing for a long time.
"Do you hate me that much now?" She mumbled. He didn't say anything.
"H-how are things going in the Yakuza?" She stammered.
"Oh change the subject, what a wonderful tactic." He sneered viciously.
"Well you're not talking to me!" She let out a choked sob then contained herself.
"Because I don't want to talk to you! I want to leave, but you won't let me!" He groaned in frustration.
"How can we figure this out if you're never here?" She pleaded desperation filling her voice.
"Don't you get it? There's nothing to figure out anymore! There's nothing to talk about! There's nothing to think about! There's nothing to work on! It's over! It is over! I'm done!" He yelled at her violently. She was blown back by his harsh words.
He didn't meant it, he couldn't.
