Oneshots, imagines, and ideas, oh my! *discontinued*

Sheldon Cooper Imagine

Sheldon Cooper Imagine-Bazinga

Warnings: Kissing, un-graphic coitus, a little bit of Sheldon being un-Sheldon like but *shrug* what can you do?

Sheldon Cooper Imagine

She sighed and sat up as her door was pounded on. She stumbled out to it and swung it open. "If this is about the paper I wrote, then-"

"It's me, Sheldon." She looked up, finally, and noticed him. "Oh. Hello Dr. Cooper. How can I help you?"

"You look dishevled and highly unproffesional, Dr. DeFonte."

"Well, this is my apartment, and it is early, so-"

"I absolutely adore that." He forced his way past her, leaving her stunned. "What are you-"

"Approximately two weeks ago, we engaged in coitus. I said a few things that may not have been correct, and you immediately changed your tone about the entire matter. You haven't come by or spoken to me since then." She cleared her throat awkwardly and leaned against the wall, arms crossed.

"Well, I never changed my tone, Dr. Cooper. It was always just sex to me."

"You're very obviously lying to me and I don't appreciate that." She sighed. "I've been really busy with my novel, so I haven't had the time to come around. You said it yourself, what we did was a disgusting mistake and should be forgotten as such. We wouldn't want anyone to find out, would we?" He sighed and walked past her, slamming the door to her apartment.

Later

Knock, knock, knock, kncok.

"I'm coming!" She swung the door open to see Penny standing there, arms crossed. "So, the Doctor Who finale is on tonight." Annette sighed exasperated. "I know! My cable is out though!"

"Well, the boys invited you to the viewing, and I brought over a bottle of blueberry wine for you, so you have to come now." She bit her lip. "I don't, ah, really-" Penny pulled her out and closed the door, practically dragging her upstairs where she shoved her into the apartment. "Hey, Annette! Look at you!" She smiled weakly at everyone.

"Hellow everyone. Does your invitation still stand?" Leonard pulled her into a seat next to him and Penny sat next to her, effectively squishing her, and gave her a generous glass of her favorite wine. "Alright! It's starting!" She couldn't help but feel relieved that Sheldon wasn't there, and thought back to that night as the episode began.

Flashback Noises paid for by the foundation to present the past

She smiled and sat up, noticing that she wasn't alone. She brought her sheet up to cover her chest as Sheldon pulled on his clothes. "That was a disgusting mistake, your bed is likely covered in germs."

"Sheldon, you know me, i've got the industrial grade laundry soap. What's wrong with you?"

"This was a mistake, Annette. I mean, you have a PHD, but it isn't a very respectful one. God knows what would happen if anyone found out." She stiffened and looked away. "Yeah, we wouldn't want that. You need to go, quick."

"Agreed." He stormed out, and she ignored the small tears that leaked out of her eyes at the less than auspicious red stain on the bed. It was her own fault, wasn't it.

Outro sounds paid for by Aids. (Ads in dire success, get your mind out of the gutter)

She shook it off and looked up to see that she had missed the first half of the episode. She nearly cursed Sheldon for distracting her from Doctor Who as an add came on. "Wow, that was amazing, wasn't it Annette?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. That was incredible Raj." She smiled and grabbed the bottle to refill her upsettingly empty wine glass. "Good god girl, I don't know what's gotten into you, but I love it." Annette gave Penny a small smile. "Next thing we need to get you is a boyfriend."

"Yeah Penny, maybe a rich doctor who needs a woman, right?"

"That's the spirit. Guys, come on, anyone know a rich doctor in need of a woman? Annette needs a sugar daddy." She laughed a little bit. "No, I need a Rock Star who comes home every four months to eat and screw. Perfect, right?" Penny was the only one who laughed, the boys all looked stern. Annette drained another glass by the time the episode was over.

"Wow, that was amazing! The doctor totally saved Clara like always!" She high-fived Penny and chuckled, filling another glass. "Annette! You've never drank like this, maybe you've had enough."

"Oh eat me, Raj. No, seriously. Eat me." She laughed and Penny gaped at her. "Look at my sexy little turtle, coming out of her shell. I need to get drinks in you more often!"

The door opened and Sheldon walked in, carrying a few bags. "Sheldon! You've got to come see this! Annette's getting absolutely wasted on our couch!" Howard whisper-shouted to him. "Raj might just get lucky!" She was sitting on the arm of his chair, twirling her hands in his hair as he struggled with breathing. "Annette!" She looked up at Sheldon and her laughter stopped. "Oh, don't be a grouch Sheldon. Just go back into your room and wash your hands, don't worry about filth like me."

"Leave her alone, Sheldon. This is a lot of fun." Penny had her phone out and was recording her. "You got her drunk?"

"I merely provided the means, sheldon. She drank like a racehorse trying to forget its lover." She laughed and Annette leaned on Raj, eyes closed in content. "Uh...uh..." Raj faltered under Sheldon's glare. "I've gotta go!" He stood up and ran out, and she collapsed into his chair leasurely. "Aww, nuts." She giggled crazily, and Penny laughed. "Oh sister. Come on, let's go out and find you a hot piece of tail to regret." She hauled her up. Annette was on the verge of being drunk.

"Aw, Penny, naw. I'm just going to go home and wallow in self pity."

"What? Why?"

"Because i'm sad, silly goat." She laughed. "Later everyone!"

"Wait!" She glanced back at Sheldon. "No!" He took a deep breath as she opened the door to leave. "I took Dr. Annette G. Defonte's virginity two weeks ago, and she is my girlfriend now." Everyone froze, including Annette, who had the door open half way. "...Sheldon....seriously?"

"Yes. I know I spoke to everyone but Penny about my attraction to her, but I did not tell anyone about our Coitus because I acted like I regretted it at first."

"You what?" Penny growled. "Yes. I understand that it was extraordinarly rude, and it might have made her feel-" Penny smacked him across the back of the head. "Idiot!" Annette shook her head and left fully, her buzz already fading as she shambled back to her apartment. They were all idiots, every last one of them.

A week later

Annette hummed and clacked away on her keyboard, smiling in satisfaction as the last word went down. She picked up her phone and dialed Penny. "What's up?"

"It's done."

"What's done?"

"The book."

"What?" Clattering was heard, and Leonard yelped. "It's done! It's done, it's done, it's done!" Annette laughed and hung up the phone, running out of her aparment. She knocked into Sheldon outside of the door. "We need to talk, we-" She cut him off in a french kiss, arms around his neck, hands in his hair. After a few moments of bliss she pulled back, absolutely beeming.

"Finished! It's all finished!" She skipped past him to Penny's apartment, while he followed her in a daze. Penny embraced her, and Leonard clapped.

"That book was a waste of time, anyways." She spun to look at him, horrified, and he smirked before pulling her in by the waist. "Bazinga." He whispered, before kissing her softly.