Past is the present

Chapter eighteen

Tumayo ang mga ito dala ang mga pinagkainan at dumiretso sa kitchen,bumalik ang mga ito para humalik sa akin.

"See you later mommy"

"See you later girls"

Natutuwa ako kung paano pinalaki ng maayos ni Leo ang mga bata kahit mag isa lang ito. To think that they are both girls,beautiful,smart and makulit. Even in my mother's help and Careen too. Most people I know in London who are single parents are struggling to raise their kids even with the help of someone or bringing their kids in a play center.

Leo is a busy man running a big business and raising two girls is unbelievably amazing.

"Hey! Are you okay Raphie?"

I snapped out of thinking him and his amazing achievements in life. I looked at him feeling so blessed that God gave me someone like him.

"Yes I am,thank you! Thank you for this,for everything"

Lumapit ito sa akin,he caress my face gently,I look up at him. Then he wipe out something in my face.

"Sshhh...I should be thanking you for coming back to us,now I believe at this saying 'the heart remember what the minds forgets' you see,nakalimutan mo man kami pero sa puso mo nakatatak na kami at walang pwedeng makapagpabago noon kahit ano pa man ang gawin nila,I almost lost hope you'll be back but my heart keeps beating for you kasi alam ng puso ko na babalik ka para sa akin and look where we are now? You're with us again,you may not remember us but I know deep in your heart kilala niya ang karugtong nito"

Ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata,I just want feel him,I want to feel how my hearts tells me what to feel at this moment. Napasinghap ako ng kumabog ang aking puso,kasabay noon ay ang hindi maipaliwanag na saya na nagmumula sa kaibuturan ng puso ko.

Noong una ko palang siyang nakita ay panatag na ang kalooban ko. I doubt him because I don't know him well that time,but being with him,working with him,the barrier I put between us is slowly fading away.

Kasabay ng saya ay may halong takot akong nararamdaman. Hindi ko alam kung para saan ang takot na iyon. Pero sigurado ako na hindi iyon dahil kay Leo o sa mga bata.

"Raphie,alam kong hindi madali ang lahat ng ito para sayo,hindi ka namin pipilitin,pero ngayon hindi ko na hahayaang malayo ka sa amin,I'd have enough of that,five years is a hell for me,mahirap,nahihirapan ako,pero kinakaya ko para sayo dahil iniisip ko na isang araw babalik ka sa amin at ayokong makita mo na pinababayaan ko ang mga bagay na pinapahalagahan mo noon pa man,lalo na ang mga anak natin at ang negosyo ng pamilya mo,juggling work and raising kids is very difficult,I didn't complain because they are important to you,to me,to us and at the same time they make me happy"

I felt my tears coming from my eyes,it's fascinating how it happened even when you're eyes are close. He wipe it out again,this time I have the urge to hug him. I hugged him tight,feeling him against me,I missed this,that's all that comes in my mind. He hugged me tighter not wanting to let go of me.

"Guide me Leo,I don't know how to be a mother,I can't remember being a mother,help me please!"

"I will babe,I will"

"Thank you.."

"No! I s.."

"Leo! Thank you!" Sigaw ko na dito,dahil ang kulit niya. Mas makulit pa siya kesa sa mga bata.

Pero tinawanan lang ako nito at niyakap pa lalo ng mas mahigpit.
"Oo na po" bumitaw ito sa akin ng bahagya "go in our room,get a shower so you'll feel better,alam kong pagod ka,I'll just tidy here and I will see you and the kids"

Nag iwas ako ng tingin dito,gosh! Magkatabi talaga kaming matutulog? I know we slept together last night kahit hindi ko na siya nabungaran ng magising ako,I can feel him during my sleep and it felt good. He even change my clothes while I'm sleeping.

"Raphie,what's wrong?" Nag aalalang tanong nito.

I shook my head but unfortunately he grabbed my head up on him and I saw him grinning.

"Babe,may mga anak na tayo dalawa pa,don't tell me nahihiya ka sa akin?" I looked away "Babe,do you feel uncomfortable when we sleep last night? Any discomfort?"

I shook my head again.

"No" I shyly said.

"Then there's nothing wrong with that then,come on go to our room,your clothes is in the cabinet,take a shower"

"I'll help you nalang muna,and I don't know this place"

"Fine! Just sit there while I do this,don't say a thing" banta pa nito sa akin.

Hindi na ako nag insist pa dahil iniisip ko na magkatabi kaming matutulog tonight. Last night namAn I'm dead in the world,tonight is different because I know we will sleep next to each other.

"I'll tour you around tomorrow"