Crooked Smiles (unedited)

Chapter 9

When we got home my mom was on the couch knocked out. She had drank herself to sleep. when she woke up way late that night she told me that Jase was locked up and that he had five years. She wasn't nasty about it. She actually seemed quite broken. Kenny was out at his hotel and I called him up immediately. I had been crying all night. And for the whole two weeks that followed. I couldn't believe it. Jase was my everything. Well, aside from Kenny. But I knew Kenny would be going home soon and I'd be alone. And that's exactly how it ended up. Kenny flew back to California a week later and I was left behind stranded. No school, no Jase, no Kenny and no scar faced mysterious redhead boy. I was alone. But to be fair, Kenny did try his best to get me back into Cherry-wood High. Things just didn't work out. I've seen Kenny about five times since he left that week. Twice he's came up to see me and three times I've been down in California. I've seen Jase since then too. I go to see him just about every weekend. My moms been up there about once or twice since he got locked up.

I remember the first time I went to see him we barley spoke a word to each other. He was too angry and I was afraid that if I opened my mouth I'd break beneath my own words. Sure, it sucked to see him there, but it sucked even more knowing how long he was going to be gone. Kenny was with me the first time I went to see him. Jase and Kenny spoke a little. I'm not really sure about what. None of us told Jase that I had been expelled. We both agreed it was better not to. I did tell him about three weeks later though, when I got excepted into ETA. He was mad at first but then he told me I'd be better off there anyway. He wished me luck and told me I'd make some good friends there. I didn't. everyone in ETA were all about themselves. But that was cool with me as long as I wasn't the victim of anyone's success or fame. And I wasn't. I managed to make it a year there without being picked on or made fun of. All of my days were spent in the classrooms and the cafeteria. I'd even been invited to a couple parties and called hot by a couple of guys. Which brings me to today.

I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror. I feel like its time for a change. My hair has been green and yellow for a year and a half now and about a third of it from the roots down is it natural color since I haven't dyed it since. My face is makeup-free. My eyes look as if I haven't rested in days, which I have, and stress is proudly dressing himself on my features. I practice a couple of smiles and then master the one I like most. Change I repeat over and over again in my head not sure what I want to do yet.

Taking a deep breath I reach into the cabinet and take out a pair of scissors. I take one last look at my neon hair before kissing it goodbye. My hair is now just above my shoulders and it's all chestnut brown. I clean up the neon mess and take out my hair bleach.

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I push the heavy steel doors open and let myself into blinding mess. There's graffiti beautifully splattered all over the brick walls lighting up in neon colors every time the lights hit it. The music is blasting in the most deafening way causing the cement floors beneath me to shake. The dance floor is surrounded with lonely teenagers with all types of hair colors and piercings swaying their bodies around. Most of them are holding red and yellow cups. Some puffing out smoke and others empty handed. There's several of them grinding on one another and having drunk make out sessions. If I'm correct, most of these kids came here to get an escape. Its probably the only place they can be themselves.

I let my eyes dance around the scenery taking it all in. For once in a long time I feel free. I mentally smile and cry at the same time. Looking at these people is actually quite sad. Especially knowing that they are me and I am them.