Being Rachel Berry

Break Through

Chapter 28
( 2 weeks later )
Rachels pov :
"Okay Rachel so tell me what bothers the most about what happened that night?" The Doctor asked me . "I don't know." I said. "Come on dig deeper, how did it make you feel when he attacked you?" He asked me. I looked down and said, "His name , is Jesse." I told him. "Excuse me?" He asked me confused. "The man who raped me, his name it was Jesse St.James." I said. "Okay so how did you feel when Jesse assulted you?" He asked me. "It made me feel powerless. It made me want to die , want to just end it all." I said. "And why didn't you? Why didn't you just commit suicide and take the easy way out?" He asked me. "I don't know." I said. "Yes you do." He said. I sat there thinking about that night . All the pain I went through and I said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. " I got up and he blocked the door. "Come on Rachel, you know why you didn't commit suicide, you know how you felt that night. He made you feel worthless and alone . Like nobody cared about you and you believed him . You believed that you were nothing , that you were worthless garbage." He said. Suddenly I felt this rage come out of me and I got angry , "I am not worthless." I said softly. "What? Did you say you are?" He asked me. "No I'm not worthless! I'm not weak! I am strong and I matter!" I yelled furiously. "What was that I can't here you. " He said. "I am not weak and I am not worthless ! I am strong , and brave , and I matter!" I yelled at him. He smiled and said, "I think we just had a break though. " He said. "What?" I asked . He sat down and said, "Rachel , you suffered from being depressed. You thought that you were worthless because thats how he made you feel. You are not worthless though. You are strong, brave, and you matter! Nobody can ever tell you otherwise. Remember that. You are not the same girl you were that night. " He told me. "I'm not?" I asked him. "No . That night its in the past. Now you may not be the girl you once were but thats okay because you are even better. You are stronger than you think. Its just a matter of getting out of your own head." He said. "And how do I do that?" I asked him. "You need to learn to relax. Forget about your troubles. Spend time with your friends and family forget about what happened that night and learn to let go. " He told me. "How? How can I let go of something that has affected me for so long?" I asked him. "Take a breath, sit down , and do the one thing that makes you happy." He said . "So all I have to do is sing and it'll take away that pain." I said. "No, but it will help in time , you see if you get out of your head and just focus on something that you love you will eventually be able to move on. " He told me. "Are you sure ?" I asked him. "I am , just get out of your head. " He told me.