Like an Unfinished Puzzle *Toshiro Hitsugaya fan-fiction*

Like an Unfinished Puzzle *Chapter 12*

His body started to visibly shake, and I started to panic. Was he crying again? I hope he wasn't. I saw him cry yesterday and it broke my heart, so I can't handle it again. I just can't, but I just can't ignore it either. So after fighting my inner turmoil, I took a deep breath and attempted looked at him; instead, he hid his head in my hair. Even though I couldn't see his eyes, I could clearly see the tear streaks running from his cheek to his chin.

I heavily swallowed. "Mr. Toshiro..." I asked cautiously. As a response he just held me so tightly to himself that I thought he was trying to mold us into one person. He took another deep breath and tried to regulate his breathing.

"Anami," he said so broken, "You tried to commit suicide." That news hit me like a ton of bricks. Suicide?

"That night, I just knew something was wrong with you. There was something that had changed in you, but I just didn't think it mattered at that moment. I was too busy with all of Rangiku's remaining overdue paperwork that I didn't even bother with anything else that was even more important." One of his hands moved from my waist to my head, and he pressed my head closer to his chest while his chin rested on top of it now. With this action, I could hear his heartbeat and realize how fast it was beating. I smile, knowing that I wasn't the only one who was like this. Although our hearts might be beating for different reasons, it's reassuring to know that I affect him the same way he affects me.

"If I did, maybe you won't be in a situation like this," he continued. A situation like what? Like my amnesia? Or is it something bigger?

By this point, Toshiro was too chocked up to continue. His regret had eaten him from the inside-out for so long that now, he was trying so hard to keep himself from falling apart right now.

My heart just broke in half. One half begged me to stop, the bigger half egged me on. Curiosity killed the cat and in this case, the cat was Toshiro. It killed me to continue, but I just needed to know.

"In a situation like what?" I forced out. My throat constricted around itself, so I swallowed whatever saliva I had and cleared my throat.

He did the same, and said in a hoarse whisper, "Your death sentence."

My whole world stopped. You know that moment where you can feel your life slipping even though your very alive? Or when you feel you very own life being taken away from your being? Well I'm feeling it right now. My entire body limped on him, not even caring if I'm crushing him. Breathing seemed so easy before this moment, and all I could think was why? Thoughts raced through my head at all the possibilities, but I felt too numb to pay attention. I could've been thinking about pineapples and I wouldn't of realized it.

His arms held me even closer, and all I could manage was to sniffle back a few tears that made its way to my eyes. We stayed like that for a few minutes with me trying to process everything. When it finally sank it, there was one thought that my mind locked on.

"Why is it your fault," I croaked out. He didn't answer me, so I wondered if he had heard me. I placed my arms on each side of his head and brought myself to where his face was. His arms now loosely hung on my raised hips, our bodies now only lightly touching each other instead of crushing each other. His eyes was covered by his wild hair, so I couldn't read any of his emotions. All I could see was his tense jaw and his flaring nostrils. I balanced myself on my left arm and with my right hand, I tilt his head upward to have his eyes met mine...

And I immediately regret it. His eyes were just so... broken. I couldn't even recognize them. They weren't the same, beautiful teal color that I first saw. They were red and clouded with fear, misery, and frustration. I couldn't understand why he was the way he was right now, but for whatever reason he's like this, I want nothing more but to help him.