Keeping It Together WELL

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It was only 6:30. I needed to be at that place at 9:30. I couldn’t even keep my head straight. Am I even going to make it there tonight?

I paced. I walked back and forth. I was pacing from the door and the window. I just couldn’t keep the tears from falling. I was finally going to tell Randy that we had a kid together from years ago. What am I going to do?

The door knocked. I jumped and took a few deep breaths, trying to at least keep my eyes dry. I took a final breath and turned the door handle. The door opened slowly, but it wasn’t Randy standing there…it was John.

He rushed in and gave me a large hug. “Gem is everything okay? Why are you crying?”

I sighed. “It’s a long story John. I don’t have the time to tell you right now.”

He brought me over to sit down on the bed, and I did willingly. “Gem you know you can tell me.”

I nodded, but more tears escaped my closed eyes.

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It’s not that big of a deal.”

I didn’t say anything. There was another knock on the door and my heart raced. I knew it was Randy.

John stood up. “Do you want me to just tell them to go away?”

I wanted to nod so bad, but I knew I couldn’t. I didn’t move. Instead I cradled my head in my hands on my knees. I was sobbing silently, but my breathing was becoming erratic.

John walked over and opened up the door for me, and Randy was standing in the doorway.

“John? What are you doing here?”

John seemed just as shocked. “I’m uh…I’m here to just check in with her. What about you?”

“She asked me to stop by.”

“Oh…” John led Randy in.

“What’s wrong with her?” I could hear Randy asked as he got closer.

“She won’t tell me,” I could hear John say.

They stood in silence, watching me cry. Finally I looked up, but I didn’t look at them. Instead, I looked over at the window. With puffy, blurry eyes, I walked over and stared out at the sunset. It was getting closer and closer to meeting Eve at the place that she wrote down for me.

As my sobbing stopped, I felt an arm wrap around my shoulder. There was no surprise that it was John.

“Gem, are you sure you don’t want to tell us what’s going on?”

I sighed. They were going to find out sooner or later. I should just blurt it out and have it be over and done with.

I could hear Randy take a seat on the bed closest to the door. “Gem, why did you want me here?”

My heart was starting to race again. I wasn’t sure how to even start. My breathing was starting to speed up, and I could feel my heart trying to beat its way out of my chest. Part of me wished it would, so that way I wouldn’t have to deal with any of this anymore. But I needed to get Alex back. All day he’s been on my mind, and he’s all I could think about.

But finally I was able to speak. “I know where Alex is. And I know who has him. There’s only one way to get him back.” I wanted to continue to watch the sun set behind the buildings across the street.

But John thought otherwise. He grabbed me and pushed me over to the bed closest to the window and made me sit.  “You have to tell us where he is Gem. We can help you get him back.”

I felt tears starting to come again. “She doesn’t want you to come with John. She wants Randy.”

“Is that why you wanted me here Gem? To help you get Alex back?”

“Gem why didn’t you say something earlier?!”

I sighed, covering my face with my hands again. I really didn’t want to be dealing with this anymore.

We all fell silent. I was still contemplating deep in my mind how I was going to tell Randy.

I just couldn’t take it anymore! This secret it just killing me! “Look,” I said loudly, “I have something that needs to be said, that everyone needs to know about…especially Randy.”

John took a seat on the bed beside me. Randy stood up. He took a few steps closer to me.

I took an even larger breath, and my heart jumped again. “I kept this for so long. I just didn’t know how to tell you!” My breathing was getting faster and faster. I could feel my heart trying to catch up with my lungs. “Randy you have to know I was angry at the time! You need to know that!”

“Gem it’s going to be okay, just tell me!” Randy was kneeling in front of me with his hands on my knees. Him and John were trying to calm me down, but I was hyperventilating.

“Gem calm down, just breathe!”

“Gem are you okay?”

I fainted.

Everything was dark. I could see a dim light from a television. I rolled over. My head was pounding. I sat up and saw I was in one of the hotel beds. The TV must’ve just been on for light. I was all alone in the room.

I adjusted my eyes as I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was 8:47…. Then it hit me. I needed to get ready to go to that place tonight. I needed to get Alex back. I stared at his stuffed puppy laying in the bed next to me, and I felt a tear come to my eyes.

I walked into the bathroom, the light blinding me as it turned on. I looked in the mirror and saw my puffy eyes. “Wow Gem, you really let it get to you this time.” I used the make-up on the counter to cover the redness. I walked out of the bathroom and straight to the mini fridge, getting a small ice pack out of the fridge. It was the same ice pack that I got from the hotel staff when Alex fell yesterday. I frowned, still knowing my son was gone from me.

As I tried desperately to get the swelling down in my eyes, I grabbed my suitcase and fished around for something that I could wear (obviously keeping my comfy wrestling clothes on underneath.)

I quickly changed and glanced back at the clock. 9:02. I needed to be there in 28 minutes. When was I planning on leaving? How long will it take me to get there? What am I going to do when I get there? Finally I smacked myself in the forehead. “Gem, stop overthinking everything.

The door to the hotel room opened, and in walked John and Randy.

I put my hands on my hip, completely astounded at seeing them. “How the HELL did you two get into my room?” Did they steal my key?

“Calm down Gem, we only went to get you something to eat after you woke up, and I see you’re already up.”

“Yeah, I am John. I need to go get my son back. And I’m taking Randy with me.”

Randy sighed as he set down a grocery bag against the wall. “Look Gem, I want to help you get Alex back and everything, but I have one condition.”

I scoffed. “Are you freakin’ kidding me right now? My son has been kidnapped, and you’re the one who needs to go with me just to get him back, and you’re not gonna go?”

He chuckled. “Gem, just calm down. I’ll go. But first you need to tell me something.”

I folded my arms. “What?”

“Well, first…tell me why you fainted.”

“I didn’t…” I did faint. I woke up in my bed…and I never remembered being in my bed. What was I doing before I fainted? And why can’t I even remember that? All I could remember, was getting the note from Eve…but that was hours ago! “I…don’t remember.”

John sat me down on the bed. “Gem, you were trying to tell us something that you had been hiding from us for a long time. Do you remember what that was?”

Finally I remembered. I fainted because I had to tell Randy about Alex. Crap, please Lord don’t let me start hyperventilating now! I don’t have time for this!

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