snapchat || l.h

sixteen.

i feel horrible. honestly, the more i think about it the worse it gets. at first, it felt like no big deal, you know because we hadn't gotten too close, but then as i thought about it more that week that i was gone, i thought of how he had constantly gone out of his way to start a conversation, and i guess it made sense, him not wanting me to know who he was. but, now that i'm back, and he gave up so quickly, it makes me realize that i was overthinking everything, and that just like everybody else, he couldn't care less about me. i know we hadn't really been talking much but i thought it was maybe the beginning of a new friendship, i definitely felt some sort of connection, it was just so easy to talk with him, nothing felt awkward.

i guess i was wrong.

to him, his biggest worry right now was probably me not leaking his snapchat or suing, like i would do that. i don't know. as great as this experience was, and as cool as it was that luke hemmings was secretly snapchatting me, i just wish none of this happened.

as a fan, i'm already more attached to him then he will ever be to me, and i don't know where he was expecting this all to go. i just don't know anything anymore...

•••

it's been a few weeks since i last hung out with tristan, i'm not really sure why though. yeah, i see him at school every now and then, but he always seems to be too busy with his friends to notice me? i decide to quickly send him a text, inviting him to go out for dinner tonight, i have to admit, i do miss him. a lot.

to: tris
from: me

hey babee, i miss you, are you free for dinner tonight? :)

as i anxiously wait for a reply, i take out my laptop, and work on some homework until i hear my phone vibrate.

to: me
from: tris

sure, ill pick u up at 7??

to: tris
from: me

yup! see you then <3

i decide to get ready now, as i have a little less than two hours until tristan will be here.

•••

it's almost 7 now so tristan should be here any minute. i decided to wear some red dress i found in the back of my closet, with a pair of black sandals.

it's about 7:30 now, and he's still not here, so i decide to take out my phone and play some games (after texting him of course).

at around 8:00 i decide to call him, to make sure he's actually coming. he answers and tells me he should be here in 5 minutes, and that he was running late and then there was a lot of traffic. okay.

•••

the rest of the date was a disaster. the restaurant "didn't have his reservation" (aka he never made one in the first place) so we had to eat at some fast food place. he also "forgot" his wallet, so i had to pay. don't get me wrong, i'm not the type of girl who thinks the guy has to pay, i gladly will, but he obviously put no effort into this date.

right when i got home, i went up to my room and locked myself in there. i sort of just sat, and thought. something i haven't been able to do since all the chaos with luke.

after thinking for a bit, i pulled out my phone and went onto twitter. i clicked the 'messages' tab, and searched up the user "@Luke5SOS". i quickly composed a message;

"hi luke. i know we haven't talked in forever (you might not even who i am or what i'm talking about) but i'm dming you because i'm a) desperate, b) feel like i'm about to explode and c) the odds of you seeing this are extremely slim."
then, i explained the whole story of everything that happened tonight and added on.
"to be honest, i'm actually not sure why i came to you, maybe that connection i once felt with 'lucas' is still there, maybe some part of me hopes you care. but right now i just feel like a mess."

notification: new tweet from Luke Hemmings

Luke Hemmings
@Luke5SOS

but i say girl you're taking too long to tell him that it's over 🎶

6/10/15 11:46 pm
2,054 retweets 4,673 favorites

'if only it were that easy' i think to myself.

•••

word count: 764 words

the song luke tweeted is called 'break up with him' by old dominion

hope you enjoyed!! xx