The Triplets The Twins And Me

Chapter Fourteen: I'm always here if you need a blankie.

Chapter Fourteen: I'm always here if you need a blankie.

The one thing I've noticed about living with boys is how much they don't understand girls. They don't seem to fully grasp just how the female mind works. I'm not trying to be sexist or anti boy, I know quite well they have their own problems. Maybe they have the same problems as women but are not as open to sharing it. See this is what happens when a girl is left alone with her mind. They sit and they think. It starts off with something minor then it gets bigger and bigger until their head gets so loud they can't seem to dig their way out of it.

So here I am sitting in my room. Thinking. I don't know how it happened. I was ok this morning. Mason tried to beat me on the wii and I let him. His joy at such a trivial thing made me laugh. Jayden and I spent some time discussing where the furniture should go in his man cave. We also discussed our thoughts on the books we had swapped. That was fun too.

Then Zoe came over. We were both sitting at the kitchen counter talking about school. Quinn walked in to get a bottle of water. I'm not sure how it came up but I do remember what Quinn said.

"Lee isn't a real girl."

That was probably it. From then on I didn't seem to join in much conversation with Quinn or Zoe. Mostly I just smiled and nodded. I could feel myself pulling away from conversation. Telling myself that my opinion wasn't really important. I could feel the small ache tightening in my chest. That's when I knew something was up. When Zoe left I didn't really want to be around anyone. I just wanted to get away.

I went up to my room. Lay down and let my thoughts take over. I picked and picked at myself. Thought of how my hair doesn't look as nice as other girls. Of how I don't even no what blusher is used for. I thought of how my stomach poked out a little in some of my clothes. I thought of all the chocolate I had eaten in the last week.

I wiped the tear from my face and put on some music to stop the boys from hearing me.

Then I thought about boys. Of how I could never live up to other girls around me. That a boy would never want to have to deal with the way my mind can simply drag me into a horrible mood. Why would they want me when they can have so many better girls out there?

The pain in my chest started to grow. I was crying for no reason and I knew I was. I just felt so alone. I felt so stupid for crying over nothing. How such a simple phrase could affect me so much.

I cry so much that I exhaust myself. I am so tired I can't think anymore. I lie on my bed and stare at the floor. How pathetic am I.

After a while I start to get hungry. I know I have to move. I get out of bed and walk over to my mirror. The redness around my eyes have died down. No one will know. Taking one last deep breath I step out of my room. Away from my safety and back into reality.

There's no one in my kitchen. Which is strange but good for me right now. I can't deal with people. Looking at the clock over the doorway I see it's ten o'clock. I hadn't noticed how late it was. I open my fridge and spot a cupcake on the top shelf. I'm about to reach for it when I stop myself. Fruit. Fruit is better for you.

Closing the fridge door I turn and walk to the fruit bowl. Grabbing an apple I sink my teeth into it. Bet the cupcake tastes better. I'm about to leave the kitchen when there is a knock on the back door. Jayden is standing there waving at me.

"You knocked?" I laugh at him as I open the door.

"I know. I had planned to walk straight in but I didn't want to seem rude." He says walking into my kitchen.

"Ok then." I give him half a smile. That's all I can muster right now.

He stares at me from the middle of the kitchen. His eyes trace over my face. I look back at him to tired to feel embarrassed.

"Are you ok?" He asks me in a soft voice.

"Yeah I'm just tired." Not a total lie.

Jayden takes two swift steps towards me before he wraps his arms around me. I take a second to decide whether I should cry or simply hug him back. My arms are soon wrapped around him. Just as he is about to let go Jayden squeezes me tighter. Then his arms drop to his side. Looking at down on me I can see in his face he knows what 'just tired' really means.

"Mason left his blankie here earlier. He had a nightmare and needs it right away." Jayden explains as he picks the blue material off of our counter top. "His blankie is the only thing that can keep the nightmares away."

Jayden heads for the door when he stops.

"Leeann. I'm always here if you need a blankie."

And with that he was gone. So was the pain in my chest.

So em wow weird chapter. I don't know what came over me. But just lately I've been having those nights where you just sit and think yourself into bad moods. And my friends have been feeling the same way too lately so I thought I would just share Lee's bad night. Because stories can't be all happy all the time.

Also I just wanted to show how one person can completely change your mood for better or for worse. We all need to find the one who changes it for the better.

I was being serious before about not being sexist towards boys. I've boy mates who have talked to me about thinking themselves into bad moods. I only said that to try and show that Lee felt alone.

So to everyone out there who has the nights where their thoughts take over you are not alone. Also you are wonderful, you should bask in your wonderfulness more often.