Going Highly Insane

7

"You had sex with him?" Mason asked darkly with a hint of hurt.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out, "I mean, yeah."

"Wow."

"I... I'm sorry. I'm just a whore."

"Don't say that. You had sex with Jacob then Ashton came along. A nice guy then an asshole, it messed up your brain."

"You don't understand. I want to kiss you and confess everything so we can actually be together but that will never happen. I also want to be free, I love the feeling that I can kiss or fuck any guy I want without anyone getting hurt but I guess people are getting hurt."

"Lynette, I like you a lot and I try not to. You have sex with all these guys without a care in the world and I love that you're carefree. I love everything about you even though you could possibly have every disease in the book."

"You already know that I love you Mason. But of course my heart and brain is messed up and also loves two other guys. Alex and..."

"is it Jacob?"

"No... It's Brandon..."

"I thought you left high school in the past."

"Mason I swear-"

"No, Lynette, I don't want to hear it."

Mason started to walk away and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I hate this. I hate love and relationships. Why can't I be unattractive and not talk to anyone?

"Mason, please." I cried out.

Mason turned around, "No, you hurt me countless times without knowing it, now it's my turn."

"I never meant to hurt you Mason, I hurt us both."

"You are just saying that, Lynette. You're still in love with a guy from three years ago."

"I still love you, you're from three years ago."

"But I stayed in your life."

Mason disappeared around the corner and I just broke down and cried. Once I finally expressed my feelings, I get broken into pieces again. This is why I never express my feelings, it's not worth the emotional pain. My heart has had enough. When will all the hurt be over?

----------------------------------

"Lynette you have to! You're the life of the party!" Sabrina begged.

Ashley and Sabrina were trying to get me to go to a party with them. I wasn't up to it. I was still heart broken.

"No." I replied, not paying them any attention.

"Ugh! You have to get over him, he's not worth a penny." Ashley said, pulling clothes out of my closet, "Put these on."

I looked at the clothes. A blood red cropped sweater. Where did I ever get that? Who the hell knows. With the cropped sweater was a high waisted black flowy skirt and black leggings. Ashley threw blood red wedges at me and I quickly dressed. I sat down on my chair and let them do my hair and makeup like they wanted to. Once they were finished I looked in the mirror. I had red eye shadow to match my shirt and shoes with black in the crease and black liquid eyeliner. My mascara was black like always and my lips were red to match the eyeshadow. My hair was also straight.

"Ashley, did you fucking cut my hair?!" I screamed.

My hair was a bit past my shoulders and had crazy layers. It used to be to my butt.

Ashley shrugged, "Thought you noticed."

I shook my head at her and we left for the party. Ashley was wearing a little black dress matched with my black heels with spikes. When did she take those? Sabrina was wearing a blood red dress, that matched my shirt, with black wedges.