The Other Side {bellarke fanfiction}

Dark Days

Chapter 09:
Dark Days

CLARKE'S POV:

For the next couple hours, after taking my mother home, we lay in her bed. Movies play on the tv in the background but it's just us, and our grieving.

My parent's workers come in from time to time to ask if we're hungry and offer their condolensces, my mother wishes to send them home but they stay. I haven't yet heard what happened to my father, but I don't believe it. I just can't believe it. One day he's here and another he's not? It's not possible.

My phone shows miss calls from Bellamy, Raven and even one from Finn. It's all around the internet and magazines by now, and I already know Kelly is planning moments for attention. I'm not into it, and I won't ever be. Kelly will have to understand.

My mother falls asleep a little after seven and I carefully step out of bed. I tip toe to the door, glancing back at her before exiting with my phone. I listen to my messages, the first from Bellamy," Hey...I know you're not going to answer, I just wanted to leave you a little message. Call me if you need, I'll answer. I'm here, Clarke," he breathes, and I hear a crack in his voice. He's crying. He's in pain, because I'm in pain. He continues," I hope everything is okay, god, I hope you're okay. I'll miss you tonight, but you need to be home. Call me when you can, I'll bring coffee or something, whatever you need." He stops, and it almost sounds as if he'll hang up. But he doesn't. He mumbles," I love you." And the message ends.

The next is from Raven, and I hear her sniffling over the phone," Clarke, please, pick up your phone! I need to hear your voice, I need to know you're okay. As your bestfriend, I know you're not. Tell me what I can do, how can I help? Don't hesitate to call me, for anything! Whatever your mom wants...how is she?" She cries," I loved your father, he treated me as if I was a part of your family. He loved you, Clarke. And I love you, so, please call me. Let me know how I can help you. I'll come and hug you, if you need. I'll let you cry on me, I'll bring ice cream and music, and we'll watch home movies. And you can continue to cry on me. Whatever you need. Goodbye."

I fall into a sobbing mess, in the middle of the white sandstone hallway. I collapse on the side of the wall, curling up and crying my eyes out. It's an empty feeling in my body. What am I without one of my favorite people in the world? Where does this leave me? Why did he have to go? Why was he taken so soon?

I close my eyes, letting the final tears fall down the side of my face. I look up at the ceiling, knowing he's watching me right now. He's in a better place, Clarke. I try convincing myself. He was happy here, he was perfectly content with his life, he had everything he ever wanted and worked for.

I started to bang my head into the wall, hating this feeling. A part of me will always be missing something now that he's not there for me to turn to. He's not here anymore. He's not coming back.

I found myself hiding in my father's closet, shutting the door behind me and flicking the light on. I travelled around slowly, admiring my father's collection of watches, shoes, ties.

I laughed. He hated his ties, he never wanted to wear them. My mother forced him for special events, and the second we returned home, it would be ripped off. A tie was never one of those go-to christmas presents in our house.

I touched the sleeve of his favorite brown sweater. He wore it at least twice a week during winter season, no matter how many other sweaters he had. He loved that one.

I sank into the corner, holding the sweater in my arms. I closed my eyes, his smell wrapped around me.

I heard the crack of the door opening, and a person stepping into the carpeted closet. It was a man's voice that coughed, and I heard them looking around. He whispered," I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now, but I'm here, if you need me."