Levi Harris: A Guide to Middle School

Episode 26: Crushes

EPISODE 26: Crushes

    I didn’t care about the eyes that were gazing at us anymore. I just wanted Angelina to wake up. I was trembling as I shook her head gently. I didn’t know what to do. Mustafa was just as shocked as I was. He stood right next to me and just observed Angelina’s face. I shook her harder and harder trying to get her to wake up but she didn’t respond. I felt awkward inside. I had a mixture of anger and fear mixed in my body. I felt sick as well. My emotions at that time were unexplainable. Moments passed on and on and nothing was working. It pissed me off more that people were just watching and not being helpful. I was tired and exhausted and my eyes were basically closed.

‘C’mon Angie… wake up…’ Mustafa said from behind me. Instantly, her eyes began to twitch and then her hands. Her eyes were opening and shutting before they went fully wide open. She smiled a bit before grasping the back of her head and howling in pain. I lifted her body up from her neck into a sitting position. She was breathing heavily. Taking deeper and deeper breaths.

‘Angie, look at me… Angie look.’ I said. She turned her head slightly to my direction but her eyes remained squinted and looking off into another direction.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked stupidly. Of course she wasn’t. She had just come from banging her head onto the floor. Her breathing steadied and her eyes opened wide again.

‘I’m okay…’ she said. She stood up slowly while she still had her head in her hand.

‘I think we should…’ she began.

‘Yeah… let’s go.’ I concluded for her. The date went really bad. It only lasted twenty-three minutes. Angelina, for some weird reason, wasn’t afraid if she got a concussion but more afraid if Ahmar would ever forgive her. She was a nice person like that. I knew it would be awkward on Monday but that wasn’t worrying me. What kept on bugging me is that I continuously tried to wake up Angelina but to my avail nothing happened. But, when Mustafa attempted, she woke up instantly. It really bugged me and I went to sleep with millions of thoughts zooming in my head. It hurt and I was pissed off.

    November 9th 2009, Telling her how I felt

    I spent the whole weekend worrying and worrying and it was a huge burden to carry around. After a morning shower, I had the worst breakfast of my life. It consisted of spoilt milk and a banana. I would’ve been better off having nothing at all.

    I arrived at school feeling cold. The wind was blowing strong and I was still wet from my late shower. I sat myself at the back of my classroom and started listening to music on my iPod. I was still fretting about what happened on Saturday. How MY girlfriend woke up to the call of my friend. Things with her were just pissing me off. She had a way of pissing me off without doing much. It was too much for me. For a second I understood why Mrs. Bwana wanted me to break up with her, She was sort of a… pain. It was bugging me way more than it should.

‘Maybe it was just a coincidence?’ I asked myself. Though something in my head knew that it wasn’t a coincidence. That part of my head was annoying me. I just wanted to believe that it was a coincidence and that she doesn’t care for Mustafa and that the way I knew they feel for each other wasn’t real but every time I tried to convince myself. I came to the obvious fact that it was all true. I had to tell her how much It was bothering me and I wanted her to come straight about how she felt about Mustafa. I had to ask her early. Before Mustafa came to school so I waited and waited for her to come.

‘Angie, we need to talk,’ I said.

‘Okay… so…’ she said whilst she sat down.

‘When you fainted… I tried to wake you up like fifty effing billion times but nothing happened. But… When Mustafa called you out once, you instantly woke up. I can’t pretend that the thing between you and Mussy isn’t true and I’m sick of it. If you got this thing going on with Mussy then just leave me alone. It pisses me off…  a lot.’ Word vomit again. At least I got it done and dusted and it was off my chest. She looked shocked for a while and her face went blank and red. She avoided looking into my eyes.

‘Why would you think that?’

‘I’ve seen it going on. Don’t lie.’

‘Ok. Chill. Look, I admit to having a slight crush on him but It can’t compare to how much I love you. If I really wanted him, I would’ve dated him when you dumped me right?’ I nodded slowly. She had a point.

‘But I didn’t did I?’

‘Yeah… but you did kiss him. And you’ve kissed him twice. When have I ever done something like that to you?’ I retorted. Anger was just flowing through my veins. She had really pissed me off and I wasn’t having it.

‘huh? Exactly. How do you think I felt when I saw you kiss him? And you never told me what happened. I had to confront you about it.’

‘Lee, please…’ she began.

‘Please what?’ I snapped.

‘There’s nothing more to be said. So I’m asking you nicely if you have something going on with him then just leave me alone. It hurts you know that? To know that your girlfriend fancies your best friend sucks.’

‘Levi. I know how much it must hurt you and I’m only human. I have a slight crush on him, so what? It doesn’t mean that I’d risk losing you for him would I? No. No I wouldn’t. I made mistakes but we’re supposed to move on and learn from them. Remember when you were pissed off at me before?’ she said. I was trying to avoid her eyes, her really light brown eyes.

‘Yeah I do…’ I replied.

‘Do you remember what you said to me? Because I do. You told me the sweetest thing I have ever heard. You told me that as long as you love me and I love you that nothing else should matter right?’

‘Yeah…’ I said. I sighed after realizing that she was right. It sort of made me feel better.

‘This is just a heads up. You’re on your last string. Next time it will matter and I won’t even think twice. I love you and all but this time It’s final. Next time… I’ll dump you.’ I said. I walked off immediately and went to join Corey and Muksin in making fun out of Sameer. I looked back and noticed Angelina with her mouth wide open in shock. It was sort of mean but I didn’t care. I was starting to look like some sort of bitch and I deeply hated being walked all over on. ‘Next time… I’ll dump you.’ The words rang in my head. Relationships are difficult and hard to maintain. You have to make sure you’re in the right one. Sometimes you could like someone but be oblivious that Mister or Misses right is standing right there. The thing is that no one realizes who their Mister or Misses right is until they lose them. Don’t make the same mistake. But people never learn. Ignorance.