Point Of View 2 [*Do not read until you've read the same chapter of ATW]

Chapters 187 & 188 The Final Straw/ Wicked Truths

"Hey, Paulie. How's it going over there?" I ask in a softer-than-normal voice.

"How's Nate?" Paul's voice sounds worried, tired, pained. Nate is family to him. Of course, this is gonna affect the bodyguard, too. He's miles away and, like me, used to being in control. I can't imagine how he must be feeling.

"He's actually doing ok. He's gonna start walking up and down the halls. Don't worry. Evan is with him." I add quickly so I don't worry Paul about things he has no control over.

"Good."

There's a moment of silence, which isn't uncommon with Paul, who is a fucking mute half the time, but he called me.

"You good over there, hotpants?" I  pull myself up to the counter and sit down, ready to listen. That is- if Paul is ready to talk.

"I fucked up, Trish." He mutters. Shit. Something DID happen.

"Paul. Talk..."

"I needed to blow off steam. I left the Avalon. Had Mike Maloney watch over Moretti for me."

"Ok, nothing wrong with that, Paul. You need to be able to leave that fucking prison whenever you damn well choose. I knew this would get old for you."

"No. That's not what I'm talking about, Trish. I went to Sully's. Got myself fucking hammered and Julia left the Avalon to bring me home."

Fucking A.  One, Paul rarely gets drunk- again, the whole needing to be in control thing. Two, he is supposed to be watching over Julia, not her watching over him. She actually left the Avalon to go get him??? He was that plastered? He's holding on by a thread, isn't he?

Not only that... if Julia got caught, it would mean a hefty fine as punishment. Nate is the one who pays for the Avalon, and now she's just piled on a huge bill for him to handle, hasn't she? Is that why Paul is calling? This is just another source of stress. Even from 3,000 miles away, Julia is still managing to cause Nate trouble.

"Did Julia get caught by that Dr. Cohen lady??" I ask.

"No. Jeremy covered for her."

Of course he did. He's obsessed with Julia. So why the hell is Paul calling me?

"What's going on, Paul?"

"Dave was at Sullivan's."

My shoulders fall and my heart drops when I hear this news. 

"He was drinking?" I shouldn't give two shits about my ex after everything he's done, but I do. He fell off the wagon. He was working hard to stay sober. I saw him working hard. He had a sponsor, was going to The Avalon for treatment. Dave was getting back on his feet.

"He was wasted, Trish. I was wasted. I should have been keeping an eye on Julia, and I didn't. I didn't fucking do my job," Paul's voice is full of disappointment. In himself. Oh my God, did Julia sleep with Dave or something? Wouldn't put it past her. But Drunk Dave is not a nice person. Not at all.

"What happened??" 

"Apparently, Brennan followed Julia into the women's restroom."

Oh no. No no no no.... I feel panicky. I feel nervous. I feel....memories coming back to me.

******

"You're not just gonna walk away from me, Trish. That's not how this works." Dave was drunk out of his mind. Following me into the women's bathroom at Sully's? Not cool.

"Get outta here. You're sloshed. Between you and Nate, I don't know who is worse. I have to babysit you both now?" I looked at Drunk Dave in the mirror. His face flushed, his breath reeked of whiskey, and his eyes. Jesus, his eyes were so dark in that moment. Angry.

"Baby, I want you back. You know I do." He stood behind me and whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes, taking in his scent. My addiction. Why can't I  ever walk away from him?

"Not like this, I don't." I breathed out when he grazed his lips up my neck. His hands were on my hips, under my shirt, slowly making their way up to feel my body.

"Then help me. Help me get sober."

"Dave, what are you doing? Get off me." I shoved his hands away. I should have known better. Drunk Dave doesn't take rejection well. He proved it that night in the bathroom. I ended up with two stitches above my eyebrow and a bill to replace the mirror I supposedly "shattered while drunk." Apparently, I was so wasted I "fell" into the mirror and cut my head open.

I hid the bruises on my wrists from him holding me too tight and winced every time I sat down for three days straight.

******

The memory is so vivid that my body begins to tremble. I covered for Dave. Over and over, I covered for him, thinking I could help him. He just needed someone on his side. I wasn't gonna give up on him. 

I never told anyone what really happened that night. Not Nate. Not anyone.

"That sonofabitch." I mumble into the phone. "Did he...." I can't even bring myself to say the word.

"He cornered Julia. Told her she was the reason you and he aren't together. Some shit about how she should have stayed with Nate so he could have you."

"What? That doesn't even make sense!" I quickly realize my voice is getting louder and reel myself in. "Did he... get physical with her?"

"A little. He was about to, but a group of women walked in, so he backed off, pretending he hadn't realized he was in the ladies' room. Total bullshit." Paul explains. I let out the breath I was holding and take another deep breath to refill my lungs. "None of that would have happened if I were doing my fucking job."

Fuck. Paul is blaming himself for this...I know he is. I know him too well. He takes his job very seriously, and perfection has always been his top priority.

"Do not fucking do that, Paulie. You hear me? I know you. You're gonna fucking blame yourself when guess what... you're not the one to blame. You should be allowed to burn off some steam. You can't be a bodyguard 24/7 for the rest of your life without having breaks. What Dave did..." I pause and shake my head to myself. "It's such a Dave thing to do. That bastard hasn't changed one bit."

He really hasn't. Dave needs a lot of help. Not just for his substance abuse for his abuse in general. When he is drunk, he becomes violent. He turns into a different person. Kind of like how Jeremy turned into a different person when he did what he did to Moretti. Maybe Dave has some sort of similar mental instability or some shit. I don't know, and I don't want to know. He just needs to stay far the hell away from me. Because he IS my addiction and I WILL give in to him to try to help him get back on his feet.

I can't let that happen.

******