Point Of View 2 [*Do not read until you've read the same chapter of ATW]

Chapter 65 Resolutions

*James*

Christmas came and went. I try to stay positive, but this is the time of year I'm at my worst. Everyone has been very understanding, but the only person who would truly get it is Julia. I think of her often and wonder how she coped with the holiday on top of detox. I wonder what she did previous years around this time of year. Did she visit her son's grave? Did she celebrate the holiday? Unlike me, Julia has no siblings and no parents alive. It was just her, Luke, and..... Danny.

On Christmas Eve, my sisters took me to a candlelight service at my church. They had a small dedication in memory of Carter, where we lit candles in his honor. We do this every year, but this was the first year I wasn't able to hold a candle. I couldn't hold a damn candle to honor my son. It was Lindsay who helped me. Even though we are not together, she makes it a point to come to these things to support me.

Unfortunately, Trisha wasn't able to join us because of Nate's work schedule. They had some event to go to, but we did spend Christmas morning together. I haven't been very intimate with Trisha lately, and Christmas was no different. I haven't been feeling myself these days. 

After breakfast on Christmas morning, we went with my sisters to the cemetery. Trisha cleaned off her mother's plot and spent a few moments there, then met me at Carter's grave. I know the holidays are supposed to be joyous times, but they just aren't for me and my family. We have our traditions, as sad as they may be, and I know Trisha felt a little uncomfortable visiting a cemetery on Christmas. Julia would have gotten it, though. She'd understand how I feel.

******

*Trisha*

"Is 31 the age you officially start feeling old?" Nate asks. He slows down the speed on his treadmill. James has, once again, outrun Nate. That's the thing about James. When he puts his mind to something, he doesn't give up. Right from the very start, he was determined to remain physically active. He takes care of his body. Always has. Probably always will. Even when he is depressed, he still makes it a point to work out. He's just .... James.

"Aww, Playboy. Did Mr. Gallo beat you again??" I hop off the elliptical and stop the treadmill for James at the 45-minute mark. Once it stops, I lean up and kiss him. I realize we aren't really affectionate in front of Nate, so I think me doing this one little thing caught Nate by surprise. I don't think he is used to seeing James and I as a couple.

I look at my phone and realize we are running short on time.

"Oh shit. It's almost two. You have to be in the studio in an hour." I look over at Nate, who wipes his brow with his towel and opens a water bottle for James, helping him take a sip. It's really sweet the way Nate takes care of James. Even though they were once enemies fighting over the same girl. I'm glad those days are over.

"I was kind of hoping to visit Julia."

"Yeah, I don't think that will be happening today, Nate. After your studio session, Ren will drop you off at the tailors to have your suit fitted for the New Years Eve party. And youuu, hotstuff, have PT with Ryan, and Lindsay wants to see the dog before she travels for work."

Once upstairs in the apartment, Jonah and Casey are clocked back in to care for James. I smirk at Casey as they come out of the bedroom together. We did our own little Christmas shopping at the lingerie boutique, and I have a feeling she just gave Jonah his Christmas "gift."

"Have fun, kids?" Nate says in a rude manner, walking past them towards the fridge.

"He's in a mood." Jonah responds.

"He's just being a baby because he doesn't have time to see Moretti." I roll my eyes at Nate. "C'mon, James. I'll help you in the shower before I head out."