Point Of View 2 [*Do not read until you've read the same chapter of ATW]

Chapter 4 Slow It Down

*James*

It may sound weird to some, but I don't care. To be honest,  that stuff never did bother me. I sleep in Nate's bed. The bed he shares with Julia. I sleep in his bed and hold Julia all night long while he recovers in the hospital.

Julia lets me hold her. She lets me pull her into my chest. She lets me run my fingers through her hair to help calm her down. She lets me care for her.

It has been a long time since we have been close to each other. I know Julia is trying to do right by Nate. I know that's the reason she has been refraining from physical contact with me. But tonight she lets me hold her and take care of her.

It's not often that it's me taking care of Julia. Everyone knows it's usually the other way around. But tonight I do. I kiss her forehead, I help her fall asleep, and in the morning, I don't budge on breakfast until I see her eating first. She knows the rules. She knows the game I will play. I will go all day without eating if need be. And Julia doesn't want that to happen.

"You drive me nuts, you know that, James?" Julia puts the fork back in my hand when I drop it during my eating strike.

"You eat first, then I will. You know the rules...."  I remind her, and Casey laughs a little while getting ready to take Maggie out.

"Ugh. Fine." Julia takes a bite of her scrambled eggs and raises her eyebrows at me. After I see that those first few bites-the hardest ones for her to overcome - have been taken, I begin to eat.

"After this, can you help me take a shower?" I ask genuinely, not trying to flirt, I really do need a shower and really do need help.

"Of course." Julia never makes me feel bad for not being able to do normal things like everyone else. She is good like that.

We continue eating breakfast, and she helps me when I fumble with my coffee. She can tell I'm stressed out. My body isn't working the way I want it to today. I think it's from lack of sleep. I spent the night worrying and praying over Nate and Julia. Nate is not my enemy. He should be. But he's not. He has helped my family and me out so much. More than anyone has ever helped us before. 

Do I hate it that Nate has won the contest? That he has Julia's heart? That she wears his engagement ring? Of course. Do I hate Nate as a human? Of course not. So it's only natural I'd worry about him and his health.

I miss my mouth a little and spill the coffee.

"Shit." I look away in embarrassment. "Sorry."

"Don't be James. Are you ok? Did it burn you?" Julia quickly wipes the hot coffee off my hand and off the table as I shake my head no.

"I don't know what's going on today. My hands aren't cooperating."

"You're stressed. We all are." She picks up the mug and gently puts it to my lips. "Here. I'll help."

I take a sip of my coffee and feel my eyes water. "Sorry. I'm pathetic."

"James, stop." Julia furrows her brows at me, being embarrassed by my shortcomings.

"Look how far you've come. Do you know it was just a few months ago that I was holding your hand, praying you would come out of your coma?  It was just a few months ago that you were completely unresponsive, and the doctors were losing hope, prepping us that you were most likely brain-dead and in a permanent vegetative state. Now look at you! You're talking and walking and doing all the things. You're healing, James. I'm so proud of you. I'm so grateful you're here right now with me. You know that?" Julia's eyes tear up.