Point Of View 2 [*Do not read until you've read the same chapter of ATW]

Chapter 20 I Miss You I'm Sorry

*James*

I need to make a decision.

Nate's  Manchester  concert is done, and we are all  sitting around the couch trying to figure out what to do next. 

Jonah talked to my neurologist, who advised limiting my flights as much as possible, reminding us it can take a full year to recover from brain injury. I can drive...well ....be a passenger... all I want. But flying isn't advised unless absolutely needed thanks to the air pressure change giving me Ice Pick headaches. I feel bad I'm messing with all the plans and Trisha's hard work put into this.

"If I did choose to stay on the tour bus, will I be all alone?"  I ask, a little nervous now. I can't be alone. I know my limitations.

"No. Casey and Paul will be with you." Jonah nods at Casey, who nods back. They've apparently already discussed this.

"I will go with you too." Julia smiles over at me in a calm manner thanks to her Ativan dose. 

"Julia.." Nate sulks. "You're seriously not coming with me?"

"We are NOT together. I'm going with James." Julia crosses her arms and glares at him.

"Won't you need bodyguards, though?" I ask, still trying to figure it all out so both me AND Julia are taken care of. I keep thinking back to the time we were alone in my house, and Julia got ahold of my meds. I was helpless. I was scared out of my mind is what I was. It messed me up for a while. I need to know we are gonna have people around to handle Julia when I can't. To take care of me when she can't.

"There will already be a security team waiting at the airport for Nate when he lands. He can pull two of the bodyguards to be with him until you and Paul arrive in Antwerp." Trisha says.

"If you decide to stay on the bus, I will have the catering company stock it up for you right now. You just gotta let me know. My pilots are waiting for me at the airport now for whenever I'm ready."

"Yeah. Ok. I don't want to be a vegetable again just because I flew too much." I laugh a little to make light of the conversation, but I'm dead serious. This trip is not worth it if my health is going to be in jeopardy. I already have enough shit wrong with me. 

"I'll go take the dog out now, then." Casey puts Maggie's harness on her, and Jonah follows her out.

"I feel bad I'm changing everyone's plans." I scratch the back of my head and look around the crowded room.

"Don't feel bad. Plans haven't been consistent once since we decided to come." Julia takes my hand, and we weave through the production team crowd to get outside.

Paul is already waiting by the tour bus. Crew members just finished cleaning it, and all suitcases are on a dolly waiting to be transported to the airport. Paul sifts through the luggage to find our suitcases along with his own to bring back on the bus. The catering team follows Nate with rolling carts of boxes that I assume are filled with food.

It's late, and everyone is tired.

"Just waiting for Casey to come back with Maggie." Paul says to Nate.

"Ok. Text me when you are in the area, Paulie." Nate swallows hard and turns to Julia now. "I guess I'll see you sometime tomorrow." He leans in closer but then remembers, frowns, and takes a step back. He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks down with sadness. I kinda feel bad for the kid. This has to be hard. I know he had big plans. Trisha told me all the fun things ahead.

"We gotta get going too, Playboy." Trisha says while looking down at her phone.

Five minutes after the Tour Bus door is closed, we feel it start moving.