Point Of View 2 [*Do not read until you've read the same chapter of ATW]

Chapter 122 You Only Feel It When It's Lost

*James*

I hate to admit it but I kind of feel bad for Nate. God knows I understand how the man feels right now. He lost Julia just like I did. Granted I never asked her to marry me like he did but the pain is the same type of pain. I also hate to admit that of all the people in the world for Julia to choose, I'm glad she chose Paul. He's a good man of integrity and will take care of Julia the way I can't. Paul is ready to settle down now and has made it known by becoming Julia's full-time bodyguard at the Avalon. He's not only dedicating his life to his job, but he's also dedicating his life to her and that is commendable.

But this puts me in a very odd position. Julia is currently MY full-time caretaker. We fucking sleep in the same damn bed so she can watch over me in case I have a seizure. Do I get the boot now? Will her attention be more towards Paul now. I'm stuck here for a full six months. I don't have a choice in the matter. 

And are things going to be awkward between us? They never were before when she was with Nate but with me .... or with me but then with Nate. Hell, she has had sex with me in Nate's recliner with him right next to us in his bed. The girl has no boundaries.

These are the things I think about while sitting out in the yard.

Aside from Mike who is sleeping, the rest of us sit out to the backyard while Nate talks to Julia in her room. Trevor, Paul, Jonah, me and Mags who has taken a liking to the doctor. She sits by his side enjoying him better her head. None of us bring up the situation hover over us and Paul remains silent. That is, until Julia comes outside looking very distraught. Trevor notices her first.

"Are you ok??" Trevor walks to Julia.

"Moretti, what happened?" Paul immediately stands up.

"I- I can't do this." Julia looks to be in the middle of some sort of nervous breakdown. "I can't breathe."

"Shit. She's having a panic attack." Trevor sees the signs and sits her down. she's hyperventilating and crying and shaking all at the same time. Paul sits next to her while Jonah goes inside to find Nate. But moments later he comes out looking just as panicky as Julia.

"He's not here!" Jonah blurts out.

"Oh God, what have I done, Paul?!" 

"Julia, what happened?" Jonah asks.

"I- I had to give him his ring back. It's not mine to have!" She wails and Paul hugs her. Shit. She gave him back the engagement ring? This is the real deal.

Jonah looks over to see the gate that leads to the back lot. He rushes over and unlatches it, looking around the parking lot. I fumble to grab Maggie's collar though she doesn't exactly make a run for it, lazy dog.

"Shit. Ren's car is gone." Jonah announces.

"Where would he go?" I ask, though I think I have a feeling I know exactly where Hollan went. I hope I'm wrong.

"He was so upset, Paul. I've never seen him so upset. Not like that!" Julia is now sobbing and coughing and clearly a mess over this. "What have I done?"

"Let's get her inside to calm down before she throws up or something." Jonah walks Julia inside while Paul tries to call Nate. I follow Jonah and sit next to Julia, rubbing her back in hopes to calm her down a little.

Trevor pours Julia a glass of water. "Try to take deep breaths." 

"He turned his phone off." Paul comes inside, clearly distraught now.

"So call Ren." Jonah suggests. "Julia, what did Nate say before he left?"

"He freaked out. Said he wasn't ready to let me go. I left the room. I couldn't take seeing him cry like that."