Point Of View 2 [*Do not read until you've read the same chapter of ATW]

Chapter 186 Man In The Mirror

I'm no longer holding Nate's hand, instead being ushered aside by a staff member. "You can wait just outside. We'll update you the moment we can." 

My eyes lock with Nate's just long enough for a silent message to pass between us. You've got this playboy. I know you do. Nate nods and closes his eyes, feeling the effects of everything going on around him..

Next thing I know- I'm out in the hallway and Nate is being whisked away by a team of surgeons and nurses. It's one thing to casually need a pacemaker, but it's a completely different situation when there's a history of heart problems and the procedure is an emergency.

"Are you alright, Miss Banks?" Evan is the first to notice that, no, I'm not alright. Jonah is busy updating Casey on what's happening.

"I can't believe this is happening." I breathe out, almost to myself. But it's happening. I know it's really happening. I knew it was only a matter of time. "Shit. I need to call Leslie. And Nate's publisher, and oh God, I'm gonna have to reach out to Ric-"

"Hey." Evan puts both hands on my shoulders and looks me dead in the eyes, trying to ground me. "That can all be done later, Trisha."

"Is everything all set for security? I should call Paul.."

"Ma'am..." He squeezes my shoulders a little, his eyes still locked with mine and brows raised. "Everything is taken care of. Sit down."

I scratch the side of my head not caring how I mess up my hair, and nod.  I don't like this feeling. I feel useless. helpless. Like everything is out of control. My control.

Because it is.

*******

*James*

I feel like I'm alert and awake but know that I'm not. I can feel, and hear everything going on around me yet can't move, see or speak. 

And something is wrong. Julia cries. Paul tries to calm her. There's chaos all over. It's Nate. There's something wrong with Nate. 

I need to wake up. I need to be there for Julia. She can't deal with this stuff alone. She has a hard time with it all. 

But I can't find my way. I'm trying but everything is just...lost. I don't know which way to go. I know if I go that way, towards the light- I'm at the beach with Carter, enjoying the warmth of the sun, the softness of the sand, the sweetness of Carter's little voice. But if I turn that way, I walk into the darkness. More than that. Pure black. But in that darkness I can hear everyone. Paul, Julia, Cara, Trevor. Hell, I think Lindsay was here at some point. I hear them all. I just can't get to them.

*****

*Trisha*

It's been an hour. An hour with no news. I have no idea how long it takes to get a pacemaker put in but do know it takes some time for the pain meds to do their magic first, sedation. We've pretty much been barricaded in a small vacant waiting room down the hall while mayhem breaks loose everywhere else. 

Footage shows a scene erupting into pandemonium. Fans are on edge after seeing  by emergency rescue. When news hit that THE Nate Hollan was being rushed into surgery, the crowd lost control. Shouts turned to chants. People stood on chairs, demanding updates. Security scrambled as fans pushed against barriers, trying to get closer to the tunnels, desperate for any sign of Nate's condition.

The arena went into full lockdown. Doors sealed. Security is coordinating with arena staff to manage panic, and reroute the flow of people safely. And outside the stadium, the city is lit up with concern...social media going crazy, helicopters circling, hashtags trending. Boston is a fucking circus right now. We might as well be in lockdown mode here at Mass. General too. Police and bodyguards are everywhere thanks to fans and reporters gathering outside. People have already been taken away in handcuffs trying to get a glimpse of America's Heartthrob. Privacy is not something that ever comes easy for someone like Nate. But on concert night? When fans from all over New England gather at one arena to see him? It's makes everything that much more crazy around here.