Point Of View 2 [*Do not read until you've read the same chapter of ATW]

Chapters 143 & 144 Night Changes/Remember Me

Lindsay takes over everything Julia would do for me. She's still learning but I see her watch Julia, taking mental notes on what I can and can't do. It's a process that is always changing. Some days my coordination is great, other days, especially days when I have a seizure, I can't do shit for myself and frustration takes over.

Today is starting off to be a good day. Lindsay barely has to help me get dressed. My coordination is on point, and I feel pretty good. She serves me pancakes while Dr. Donovan presses on about Julia meeting with Trevor. I don't know why she doesn't like him. He's a great therapist! But no one can judge Julia for her hesitations after the things she has been through. She may always have trust issues when it comes to doctors.

"Do you think you're ready to have a therapy session with Trevor today?" Jeremy pushes the subject on Julia again while he logs her meds into my chart. Lindsay helps me with my coffee and breakfast and pays no attention to the conversation. Paul watches Jeremy like a hawk.

"It's a waste of his time. I don't know how you people think I can miraculously open up to some stranger for counseling. It doesn't work like that." Julia huffs.

"He is no longer a stranger, Julia. You're making excuses to get out of it. And if I recall, you opened up to me just fine the very first day..."

"Yeah, look where that got me." She sneers. "Anyways. There's nothing new to talk about."

Paul and I exchange glances and both exhale loudly. 

"She's still having nightmares that keep her up. The change in meds didn't do anything." Paul crosses his arms while leaning against the kitchen wall.

"Jule, were YOU going to tell me this at some point? I'm messing around with your meds trying to find what works... but unless you talk to me and let me know these things..." Jeremy speaks softly and shakes his head.

"I am NOT talking to Trevor about my friggen dreams."

"Well, you need to talk to someone, babe."  I put my fork down and rest my hand on hers. "You haven't slept through the night in over a week now."

"How about this..." Jeremy stands up."It's nice out. Why don't we go outside, you and me, and talk about this specific topic? If you're not gonna open up to Trevor yet and you won't talk to these two," he gives in and pauses but ends the sentence there. 

Paul looks on edge now and it's noticed. Jeremy raises his hands a little.

"You can even stand there and watch us the whole time without listening in to our session. Trevor is using my office right now and there's nowhere else to go."

"Fine." Julia gives in and heads outside with the doctor while Paul watches his every move.

"She's got a lot to work through huh? Poor thing." Lindsay frowns.

"Yeah, she'll get there though." I answer, hoping to God eventually Julia will heal so she can move on with life.

 I've been working with Trevor and taking these courses with him to possibly be a counselor to help others. I haven't told Julia this and I hate keeping anything from her but I don't want to make her feel like I'm bettering myself and she's still stuck in a rut with no improvement. If only she had a few goals to look forward to achieving. Right now, she has no detoxing patient to care for, Lindsay has been helping me more and more when she is around, and I think Julia is feeling a bit lost without a purpose.

The knock on the Avalon door prompts Paul to answer so I take his place to watch over Julia outside with Dr. Donovan while Lindsay is on the floor playing with the dog. Nate walks in and the second he sees Julia is out there talking to the doctor, he freaks.

"Why the hell is she out there alone with him?"

"I've been watching them, boss." Paul explains.

"What are they talking about?" Nate peers out and studies Julia with Jeremy.

"Something about the nightmares she's having, I think. She won't talk to me about them." I answer right as they end the conversation and Jeremy stands. I think Linds may be uncomfortable around the doctor because she stands up, tells me she has a few errands to run and says her goodbyes right as Jeremy walks into the apartment.

"It looks like their therapy session went better than mine did." Nate mutters and I raise a brow. Maybe his sessions with Trevor aren't going as well as he had hoped. Though I know Nate well enough. If he doesn't hear what he wants to hear he shuts down.

"Ok well, I have another patient scheduled soon." Jeremy announces to anyone listening.

"Wait. What the hell were you two talking about out there?" Nate asks. "You can't just have some therapy session with her out there and then say nothing."

"Actually. That's part of my job, Nate. In counseling sessions, the discussions are confidential..."

"I thought you wanted to step back and have her talk to Trevor?? What changed?" 

"Nothing has changed. I will still make myself available to Julia until she is comfortable talking to Trevor. I'm not going to just go and ditch a patient who is in need of therapy." He pauses and heads to the door. "And Trevor was busy... with you."

Jeremy exits the apartment and right as Nate is about to head outside to talk to Julia, Paul beats him to it. We both watch how Paul comforts Julia and I have to look away. Nate clutches the back of the kitchen chair and closes his eyes. He looks like he may pass out.

"Are you ok? Sit down." I demand and Nate sits down at the kitchen table.

"Yeah. Just my shit heart acting up." He answers. 

"Should I go get Julia?" 

"No." Nate frowns. 

Now I'm not saying I have gotten over Julia. Maybe I never will. But I am starting to move on. I have the perk of being her best friend so have that going for me which Nate doesn't. But I have a feeling he is taking this Paul/Julia thing much harder than he lets on. The stress is gonna kill the guy if he doesn't let her go.

Julia is moving on. Eventually Nate will need to as well.

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