Point Of View 2 [*Do not read until you've read the same chapter of ATW]

Chapter 112 Us

"You find any chance you can get to say something negative lately, Trish. It's getting old."

Is he TRYING to start a fight with me? Is there some reason behind his cold attitude and snarky comments today or is Paul just in a pissy mood?

I sit in silence, being ignored by him for a few minutes.

"Ok. Well I just wanted to stop by and say 'hi'."

"Sorry. I didn't get much sleep last night. I'm just really tired. I may go lay down for a bit while Julia is with Nate and James is with Trevor." He stands up and kisses my forehead before heading to Julia's room.

"Got it." I snap and stand up. Coming here unannounced was a bad idea.

******

*James*

"It's really nice to see you doing so well, James. Taking advantage of these sessions, making friends here. Even giving some of the patients good advice during the grief therapy meetings. You really have a lot to offer." Trevor compliments me while we make the walk back to Julia's apartment.

"I've been going to these types of sessions for years. It's nothing for me, but I can see how it is hard for some of the newcomers.  Especially those who have just recently lost a loved one. They think they will feel that intense pain forever. It will always be there, don't get me wrong, but the intensity lessens as the years go by. Soon, the loss just becomes a part of who you are but doesn't consume every minute of every day like it does in the beginning." I explain as Jeremy comes out of another session and decides to walk with us now.

"You guys headed to Julia's? I'm gonna go check in on her." Jeremy says, and I inhale sharply. The guy doesn't leave her alone.

"Yeah. Sooner or later, Miss Moretti will need to start back up with the Avalon routine." Trevor says to Jeremy. "I was just telling James here how nice it is to see him taking advantage of the sessions. He's not only going to every one but helping others as well."

"Oh yeah? Again, you tryna take my job, Mr. Gallo?" Jeremy tries to joke, but we all stop short at Julia's door when we hear the commotion on the other side. Julia is fighting with someone.

"Jule. What's happening?" Nate's British accent gives him away.

 "Nate, I need to know!"  Julia yells back. I turn to Trevor with an alarmed look now, and he raps on the door until Paul opens it. He says nothing but shakes his head while Julia sits on the couch crying. Nate is at a loss for words like even HE doesn't understand what's going on.

But Julia looks like she is in the beginning stages of a panic attack by the way she is breathing heavily and crying.

"Babe, you good?"  I ask, noticing right away how distraught she is.

"Everyone needs to go!" She cries out and puts her hand on her chest.

"She's having a panic attack." Jeremy pushes past everyone and kneels in front of Julia.

"Julia. Look at me." He demands.

"I can't breathe!"

"You can. Breathe with me." Jeremy takes over, and Nate backs away. What the fuck did he do this time to set her off? He always finds a way to fuck up. As much as I am grateful to the man for all he does for me and my family, the guy can be immature. Did he go fucking around with my cousin Natalie or something? Did something make the news that shouldn't have like the time he was caught in the Modern Studio's parking lot kissing Trisha? I glare at him while these thoughts run through my head.

"I don't know what's happening." Nate runs his fingers through his hair nervously and I can tell he at one point was crying. Jeremy is able to calm Julia down with his breathing techniques after a good five minutes.

"Everyone needs to go." Julia says again and walks to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

"What the hell, Nate!"  I snap at him.

"Whoa. I didn't do anything! She freaked out on me. I-" Nate pauses. "She was asking me about a plan. Her plan. My plan. I don't know. I think she's breaking up with me."

What?? That doesn't make sense. Julia is obsessed with the guy.

"Nate. C'mon. Lets go talk." Jeremy stands by the door and Nate follows him out. "You too, James."

I raise my brows pointing to myself like saying "Me?"  But I follow the doctor without questioning. We all silently walk down the hall a little until we reach another door. Jeremy's apartment. He fumbles with his keys and lets us both in.

"I wasn't even there, remember? I don't know what the hell this asshole did."  I squint my eyes at Nate.

"Walk me through it, Nate." Jeremy signals for us to sit down and hash it out. Nate tells us all about Julia needing a plan for her future. Valid concern and I'm actually proud of her for even thinking about ANY future.

"So this wasn't about you and James at all then? Her going back and forth? This is about Julia and only Julia." Jeremy is putting the pieces together.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Julia is healing. She's, for the first time in a long time, beginning to think about her future. Before she didn't think she HAD a future. She's no longer living day to day in survival mode. It's a good thing for her, but she also needs to have a plan in place. And I'm guessing you don't have one. Your life isn't a stable life."

"Bullshit." Nate bursts. 

I hate to admit it but Jeremy is right. Julia has been so stuck in the past she never gave herself a future to look forward to. Now reality is hitting her. Reality that her and Nate live in two very different worlds. Julia doesn't fit in his world. I've been saying this to her forever now. She's just now finally clearheaded enough to see it for herself. She doesn't see a future with Nate anymore, does she? And Nate is not used to hearing that.

"It's not good or bad, Nate. It's your reality. Your personal assistant keeps you busy and that's good. Good for your career. You are on the road more than off. Between that and your constant in and out of the hospital due to your health, you barely see Julia. She is looking for stability. She thrives off of stability and is realizing you don't have a plan to provide her with that."

"Bullshit!" Nate drops his face into his hands and gets upset. I actually feel bad for the dude. He's been in denial thinking this relationship would work out. A relationship with no plans, life goals, going on nothing but feelings.  Julia needs more than just feelings. She needs to know what things will look like a year down the line. Two years. Five years. And Nate can't see ahead to next week. He lives life one day at a time. It's just his personality. Trisha, as much of a planner with Nate's schedule that she is, is the same way with her personal life. Like I said, they live in very different worlds than people like me and Julia live in.

Julia is finally getting better and wanting to live. But she wants to know what she's living for now. Is she living to get married to Nate and settle down? Because Nate doesn't settle down. That's just not him.

 Is she looking to be with him while he travels around the world all the time? Because that didn't work out well for her the first time around. Julia needs a stable life and daily routine. That's the only way she will function properly. Throw a wrench in the plan, and she doesn't know how to handle it. She likes routine. Like me, and even like Paul, it's the little things that make Julia happy. Not that fucking two-million-dollar rock on her finger weighing her down or traveling the world. Those things do nothing for Julia. Someone who is here and around for her is what she needs. 

Nate can't give her that.  

He's never around.

******