Point Of View 2 [*Do not read until you've read the same chapter of ATW]

Chapter 102 Gotta Get Better

"She told me she has had to be restrained but didn't get into detail before she had her own meltdown after seeing Dr. Donovan. He triggered something in her and I imagine the restraints had something to do with it? We haven't gotten very far into our therapy sessions yet." Trevor sits down on the recliner to ease his tired body from carrying her all this way. Julia is a lightweight but deadweight when being carried for fifteen minutes straight.

"You should really talk to her about that. She needs a lot of talk therapy to heal." I suggest, knowing how well talk therapy has worked for me in the past.

All of a sudden something jolts my memory. It's the weirdest thing too because all I can see from the memory is black, yet I can hear Julia's voice clear as day.

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"He hurt me so bad, James." 

I squeeze Julia's hand.

"It was awful. That was rape, right? That was definitely rape.I trusted him. He's my doctor. My therapist. I can't tell anyone else. If you can hear and you were awake, you heard him last night. He said he'd keep me tied down in those restraints if I said anything. I'm so scared, James. I don't think I can handle this. I really need you to wake up."

*****

I cover my mouth and stare at the wall. "Oh my God."

"What is it? Hey..are you ok?" Trevor stands up and sits me down in his place, seeing the color drain from my face. This alerts Paul as well and even Maggie pokes her head up for a moment and looks at me with concern.

"That's not possible." I say to myself more than anyone. "Is it?" My eyes fill with tears when I turn to the doctor. I hate how easily I can produce tears when I become emotional. It's something that has gotten me some good beatings from Joe when I was little. 

"What?" Paul asks. now sitting on the other chair across from me. I continue to stare at the doctor though.

"You can't remember something from when you were in a coma, can you??" I ask Trevor. He's not a neurologist but still had to go to medical school and learn the basics. Trevor thinks for a moment before speaking.

"While highly unlikely, yes- you can remember certain sounds or events that happened around you while in a coma.  It all depends on your brain activity during that time Your brain can still process some auditory information even during a coma, potentially leading to vague memories upon waking. Every individual's experience is different." He talks in doctor mode like Jeremy does.

"I remember Julia talking to me. I remember what she said." My voice is weak now, knowing full well this experience happened.

"What did she say??" Trevor sits down on the free corner of the couch now that Julia has curled up into her little ball fast asleep.

"She was scared. She talked about being raped the night before. He threatened to keep her in restraints if she told anyone what happened."

"That fucker." Paul grumbles to himself.

"So he raped her while she was in restraints..." Trevor's voice trails off. He turns and looks at sleeping Julia with a frown. "Awful." He says under his breath.

"She talked to me a lot. Sometimes I remember little things but I never know if they really happened or not. I remember this though. This conversation really happened. I remember trying so hard to squeeze her hand. And she was begging me to wake up." A tear runs down my face and I quickly wipe it away with embarrassment in front of these two men. But Trevor leans over and squeezes my shoulder.

"You have been through hell yourself, it's ok." He says with this genuine tone that catches me by surprise from a man who's exceptionally good looks can take control over an entire room full of people. He's used to all eyes on him, yet when he speaks- is kind and soft and understanding. It's a rare quality.

"If you remember anything else, can you let me know? Like I said- I'm not quite there yet in the trust department with Julia. It takes time. I may never get there after the way the doctor betrayed her trust already."

"Yeah, of course." I wipe another tear. I can't help but wonder how many more memories I will have from the coma. Julia talked to me all the time. That much I know. I wasn't there for her when she needed me the most. 

That's a hard pill to swallow.

*****

*Trisha*

When we return to the suite Nate's BP monitor goes off while he is texting, gaining everyone's attention.

"Who's he texting?" I ask but Jonah puts a finger up to tell me to hold on, while Nate shows Jonah the texts.

"FUCK!" Nate yells out and attempts to throw his phone, but Jonah grabs it first.

"NATE!" Everyone scolds him but then Nate breaks down into tears. He shoves his palms into his eyes and cries hard making me jump up and be at his side within seconds. Nate hates crying in front of others. I've seen it a million and one times and Jonah a handful of times himself but not Casey and certainly not Evan.

"Nate... sweetie..." I rub his back as Nate sobs and then begins coughing up more blood while crying. Casey quickly reaches over and hands me the box of tissues. I pull out a bunch and cover Nate's mouth to catch the blood. Then Jonah shows me Paul's message about Julia shutting down because of Jeremy.  "Motherfucker." I murmur.

"I should be there with her." Nate takes the tissues and wipes his own mouth now.

"Stop talking!" Jonah furrows his brows and gives Nate another tissue to wipe the blood from his fist. "Paul is there with her, Nate. She trusts him. He will take care of her but I think Donovan needs to stay away for a while. Shit is coming back and she's never going to heal with him around. Regardless of if he can help her with her bipolar or not."

Jonah is right. Paul is the best of the best. And Julia DOES trust him. She trusts him with her life. The only time Paul wasn't able to protect someone was the one time he didn't get to Julia in time and Jeremy raped her in the hotel. No one knows what REALLY happened in that hotel room and Paul doesn't talk about it much. But I know Paul, and know he blames himself for not being able to protect her the way she needed that day. Paul is very hard on himself. When he fucked up and forgot to check Julia's apartment door and it was unlocked- the one and only time Nate got seriously mad at Paul, he beat himself up over it for a while. Just like he does with the Marriott incident. 

He will carry that to his grave and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

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