Alive or Just breathing?

Chapter 20

Emily's P.O.V.

"From Mom

Emily , since your father died i know i've been a terrible mom , i've been cold , rude , mean and a big bitch to you .  I wasn't there when you most needed .   After your father was gone you shut everybody and everything down completely until you met that boy Josh .. But that's not the point .

I didn't try to reach you , i just ignored you and tried to talk to you as much as possible , and Emily i'm truly sorry for it . I'm sorry i made you feel like you were worthless and didn't deserve to live . 

And i know i always argue about the way you dress , because you mostly wear black and you don't dress the other girls . I'm so sorry Emily .

I know you've always wondered why i'm like this .

You remind me so much of your father , you're kind , creative and when you love something you're persistent about it . Don't you think one second that i didn't love your father , because i did and i still do .  My way of forgetting about things and forget about pain was by being mean to you and denying that i ever loved him and that he was rubbish .   And one thing that you got from your dad was strength . Emily i don't think you realize how strong you are , i admire that in you . In fact i admire everything about you .

Even though i don't show it , you are the one thing that i'm proud to say i created .  You are beautiful , talented , strong girl Emily  , and i'm so happy with who you're becoming .

Tonight you looked amazing and truly happy while you were singing with Luke , Emily don't be afraid of love , i know you've build up your walls so high and don't let anyone in . But Luke isn't Josh , he's so much more than that asshole .  

You know what your father used to say to me before he left for a trip that could take months ?  He said "If you find someone that you love more than me , marry him "   And this was way before you were born and truth is i never found someone i loved more than your father .

I'm sorry about everything my beautiful daughter .

I'm really proud of you , and always will be .  

I love you so much , more than you'll ever know .

Love , mom "

I didn't realize i was crying until the paper was filled with tears . There was always been a reason for her actions , i didn't know if i could forgive her right away , but all i knew was that i had to hug my mom , i ran out of my bedroom and went to hers .

My mom was sitting against the headboard reading a book , she looked up at me and smiled , i ran to her and hugged her tightly .

I whispered "Thank you" in her ear and she kissed my forehead .

**

I woke up with my phone buzzing on the night stand .  I pressed the button and it light up . It's 10 am in the morning and i feel like shit .

I unlocked it and i had a message from Luke .

From : Lukey  Good morning beautiful  <3

I read the text and smiled .

Luke's P.O.V.

From:Em <3  Good morning Lucas Pucas  :-)

I chuckled at the text .

To:Em <3  You never stop with inventing nicknames do you ? xD

From:Em <3 Of course not ! NICKNAMES 4EVER

To: Em <3  Hahaha , whatever you say baby